


The Brothers Ri

by Anonymous



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Abduction, Alternate Universe, Arson, Babysitting, Chaos, Child Abuse, Crack, Crime Family, Don Dori, Fondling, Homelessness, Humor, Implied Torture, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, Interrogation, Leashes, Light BDSM, M/M, Murder of Greenery, Organized Crime, Ori may sound like an absolutely insane child by now..., Prison, Prison Sex, Rape/Non-con References, Rare Pairings, Strangulation, The Godfather feels, Torture, implied Underground Fightin, jailbreak, making this up as i go along really, rigged games
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2013-07-28
Packaged: 2017-11-26 20:32:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 22,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/654147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was commonly known that Nori was the trouble-maker. The criminal. The good-for-naught. His family ties were no secret either; brother of three, Dori the Wholesome, Nori the Troublesome, and Ori the Cuddlesome.<br/>It was also suspected that he belonged to a crime family, of which only his face was known. </p><p><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/654147/chapters/1400086">28</a>: there is soup. and an intender for nori's heart.<br/><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/654147/chapters/1407676/">29</a>: nori shovel talks without words.<br/><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/654147/chapters/1413341/">30</a>: ori's honour needs protecting.<br/><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/654147/chapters/1453696">31</a>: Dori kneeled in the mud, jaw slack and muscles loose and tenderised.<br/><a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/654147/chapters/1453783">32</a>: Ori came home to a dozen armoured figures in the kitchen.<br/>(links in the numbers)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jail Break

**Author's Note:**

> The lives of the Brothers Ri, in no particular order, but all intertwined.  
> archive? yes, please, if you want to. just give me a heads up, yeah? ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr:   
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/41859914131/the-brothers-ri-chater-1-jailbreak

Many were under the impression that Nori was away on _business_ thirty feet below, in a cold dungeon, for debts unpaid and grudgingly agreed to a doomed quest with great rewards in exchange for a clean name and free body, offered, rumour has it, by some sort of looming predator with half an ear and more axes and hammers than fingers.

Well, they weren’t _mistaken_ per se. Nori was, indeed, a good thirty feet below the surface, and he was, indeed, sleeping off a brawl in a tavern concerning some debts unpaid - _willingly_ , he needed some rest and a good roof, the rainy season was about to start, and this dungeon was prime real estate, with hot water and excellent floor-heating - and was, indeed, recruited. But the dwarf wasn’t looming, or half-eared, or in possession of eleven axes and hammers. He didn’t even have half a beard, couldn’t hold half an axe in both his arms, and still tumbled like a puppy.

Nori had woken up to wails of terror and the bars of his cell-doors hanging of its hinges. He sighed - _what a shame,_ fantastic _craftsmanship, well, might as well steal a blanket_ \- stretched, and strolled out. He caught himself before he tripped over a fallen tray, and quickly ate his breakfast. _Apple muffins, and freshly baked._ This dungeon was _excellent_! If he ever wanted to come back, he’d need to use a better alias, this could not happen again.

The master thief stopped before exiting the main building to straighten his clothes and fluff his hair, but it was quite in vain.

“Oh _dear_ , oh dear! Nori, look at the state of you. I know you like these establishments, but please, next time go to a place with laundering services, will you?”

The prim and proper dwarf at the reception fussed and tugged at his straps, and offered him a pipe, which Nori apprecated.”

“Ta brother. I keep telling you, the laundering service isn’t all that matters! There are amenities, like food and heating that re just as important! Look here, I borrowed a quilt. _they don’t mind_ , filled with down from the Wild Geese of Bree! Not easy to find in these areas! Let’s not blacklist this place just yet, eh?”

“Mhm... alright. I admit, this is exquisite.” Dori turned to the dwarf at the prison reception and smiled. “There lad, thank you very much for letting us in. And for understanding our plight, it was very kind.”

The young dwarf swallowed thickly, and nodded rapidly, blushing darker than his own black coiffe. “N-n-n-no p-prob- it was all a pleasure, mister Dori sir!” He smiled shily. “Anytime!”

Nori raised his eyebrows and smiled under his beard, taking a deep puff. Mahal, it was good to have an attractive brother. The stuttering dwarf looked at Dori’s meticulously braided do and exhaled longingly.

“Remember, dear boy - “

“I didn’t get a proper look, and I don’t know how many you were!”

“Good boy”.

The _good boy_ swooned. Dori gave him a cheeky smile and moved for the exit. Nori followed.

“Ori! Let go that man’s ear. We’re leaving now. Put that down! No! Put that - We’ll get you a different one. Don’t sulk at me, you know the rule: if you can’t carry it, you can’t have it. There’s a good chap, here, have a smoke.”


	2. The Twelve-foot Elf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you move, the monster might come back...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/41859969123/the-brothers-ri-chapter-2-the-12-foot-elf

The sound of blood dripping from the ceiling onto a puddle on the stone floor echoed through the entire hall. On the floors, on the beams, hanging on the tips of swinging chandeliers, the guards worked to stay as still as possible.

“Is he gone?”

“Sh! You’re whispering too loud! He’ll hear you!”

“But it’s been hours since sundown! Surely - “

“Quiet!”

“We have to get our story right! What do we tell Dwalin?”

“It was a Man!”

“An Elf! Eight feet tall!”

“With half an ear and teeth like talons!”

“With a mace and hammers and axes made of solid rock!”

"And serrated sword!"

“Oh come off! As if _Dwalin_ will believe _that_!”

“Would you rather tell him we were beaten and _bitten_ into submission by a three foot dwarf, half a beard and the spacial awareness of a one-eyed toad?”

“... Twelve foot high, you said?”


	3. Brothers by Deed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They weren’t brothers by blood, not Ori with the older two, not that it mattered.  
> on tumblr:   
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/41860031522/the-brothers-ri-chapter-3-brothers-by-deed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i regressed. i wanted off of the painful memories and hurting dwarfses, but i couldn't.  
> promise, next one happier.  
> i write them in pairs, so this will be easy on all of us.  
> i think, but am not quite so sure, that if 200 is middle age for dwarves, 10 must be early infancy. or at least, just out of learning how to walk.  
> re-post, because i think this fits better here. i didn't want to disrupt the flow of 5 happy chapters . then again, i just thought just now, that it doesn't make sense to put this AFTER CST, but i already deleted it... so... oopsie...

They weren’t brothers by blood, not Ori with the older two, not that it mattered.

After the smoke and the fire, the festering infections and the contagious illnesses, the blood spilt and the blood lost, They had found him, barely ten years old, toddling amongst bitter and cold grown dwarves, who headed straight ahead with stone-cold determination, tortured minds filled and senses overflowing with memories that surpassed anything a sane mind could imagine suffering. Blind with bitter grief, no one paid heed to the frightened child, sometimes crying, sometimes whimpering, sometimes wailing. The child in tattered clothes, covered in soot, barely able to breath with ash-filled lungs.

It was weeks since they were rendered homeless. Looking at the state of the toddler, it was impossible to tell how long it walked among careless adults, how long it went without warm food or the comfort of another soul, whether its parents were alive or separated or _Mahal forbid, they abandoned him_.

Nori was fresh into adulthood. Dori just about ready to settle and leave home. But there was no home. And they were alone. Amid the whole chaos, watching how the hyperventilating toddler tripped and clutched at a wretched old cloth, Nori’s hands stopped shaking and, without hesitation, he shoved his way through and punched back the hoard, wrapping up the child in his cloak. Behind him, a fuss stirred, quickly silenced by his older brother with swift beatings.

Dori gave the bothersome dwarf one last swift kick before relieving him of his pouch of gold and a pony, which they attached to their rickety cart, and tried a makeshift cradle for the shivering infant. But Nori refused to release it. He held onto the boy, absorbing what little warmth it had and trying to return it tenfold, and Dori understood.

They were alone now. They were lost. They needed a new focus. A new priority. Dwarven values lay in craftsmanship, strength in numbers, solid impenetrable protective wall, solidarity. They had no tools, they were scattered in body and mind, they had no stone walls to hide behind and call home. All they had was each other, and Dori would _burn again_ if _anyone_ come between himself and his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to go cry now. and eat something highly calorific and wonderfully oxytocin-inducing.


	4. CST - Child Safety Tether

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raising children - for new parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this from the Modern Family episode, where they go to Disney Land. it cracked me up so hard, and i saw an opportunity.  
> it really doesn't matter who says what, Nori or Dori, all that matters is that you find this funny enough to want to reread it.  
> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/41860140684/the-brothers-ri-chapter-4-c-s-t

“They’re watching us. They’re _judging us_!”

“We’ve only had him a few months, _how could they **be judging us**?!_ ”

Huffing. “You need to ask?! Look at what we’re _doing_! We should be arrested!”

“Don’t you even! One, you almost were for _other reasons_ brother dear! And two, it was either this, or run after him all day.”

“Oh please, this wasn’t our only option! We could have - “

“Run after him. All. Day. Like we have been doing for _quite some time now!_ ”

”We had _alternatives_ \- “

“Running around in - “

” - that did not need the employ - “

“ - circles all day long - “

_” - of a leash!”_

_”Child Safety Tether.”_

“It’s a _leash_ , and these people know it, oh and look over there, they’re walking their pets!”

“Arf! Arf! Arf!”

“... Ori, sweetheart, you’re not helping.”


	5. Rose Bushes and the Minder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Brohers Ri have a job. Not age-appropriate for wee Ori. They need a babysitter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in honour of hit # 333, and to make up for a depressing chapter 3 that most, thankfully, possibly, did not notice, i give to you: chaos.  
> comments are welcome. i like to know where i go wrong, what i do right. typos are not optional, the keyboard is shit and i tend not to try too hard when the buttons don't work.  
> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/41860190508/the-brothers-ri-chapter-5-rose-bushes-and-the-minder

Dori enters the reception area of the makeshift living spaces of his Lord Balin, silently keeping count of the exits windows and hidden passageways. No, he was not expecting to fend for his live within the walls of the seasoned warrior, but it was always good to stay on your toes. Especially considering the scene that welcomed them when they entered the house.

***********###***********

“Oh good Aule, what the hell happened here?”

“That, dear Nori, is a fence hanging by its hinges.”

Raised eyebrow. “Did the fence decide it wanted some freedom?”

“Don’t be daft, dwarf!”

“Then will you please just tell me what happened - just _shove off_ \- ”

“Nori- no! Nori, don’t look!”

“HOLY MOTHER OF CAS!”

***********###***********

Nori, before the destruction of Erebor, was a curiosity amongst dwarves. Had Thror left well enough alone, had Smaug not taken their home, Nori would have been one of Middle-Earths leading horticultural authorities.

***********###***********

“Ohmigodohmigodohmigod no! No, you poor _dears_ , look at you! Your stems, your petals, the grass! Is that - are those _tights on the shrubs_?!”

“Nori. Nori! Please, come over here! You can’t handle this stress, please, you need to calm down!”

“Mallos and alfirin! How rare, no, the state they are in, why oh why?!”

_”They’re just plants! Get off the grass and let’s not keep Balin waiting!”_

“No! *sob* My loves! How could they? _How could anyone?!_ ”

“Oh bugger.”

***********###***********

Dori had a good idea what happened. To be fair though, he thought to himself, taking a deep breath of the mallos on the table, he did warn them.

***********###***********

“Dori, old friend!”

“Balin! Such a long time it has been!”

“Indeed it has, laddie. How is business?”

“Ach! Troublesome. It’s hard, earning a living, as you well know, amongst Men. Nori has also taken to some... unsavoury folk.”

“Ah... hence the-?”

“Aye. I’m sorry to trouble you with this, but I cannae in good conscience introduce little Ori to such a life so young. I don’t want him to see his brother where he is now, and trustworthy child minders are scares...”

Humming. “I understand.” Sympathy. “If you need any help... for your brothers, should you find yourself in any tight spot!”

“Thank you, friend.” … They stand, waiting, Balin tries to catch Dori’s eyes and purvey a specific point, but Dori just smiles.

“Look... I don’t know how to ask this, so I’ll just go ahead. Did you notice that the boy is attached to a... ‘harness’ of a sort?”

“ _Safety Tether_. Do not, _ever , detach him from the safety tether._”

Balin peeked at Dori from under his eyebrows, then at Ori, then back at Dori.

“Ever?”

Ori looks at the power exchange, the leash going from Dori’s hand to Whitey’s. He then proceeded to run around Whitey until the leash tangled.

“Ever.”

Dori left when Balin looked down to his tethered legs, gone when he looked back up.

***********###***********

Some things were unpredictable. Oncoming storms, first loves, bad habits. Of all the bad habits that Ori was exposed to - pickpocketing, lock picking, cursing, stealing, manipulating, kidnapping, defacing - in his own family home, he didn’t pick any of them up.

That Balin, son of Fundin, would introduce Ori, Tethered to a Harness, to some bad habits, was unthinkable.

***********###***********

“Brother! What news do you bring of Thorin our king?”

“That you should tie yourself by the ankles to the ceiling and stop shrinking!”

Heads smashed together, Balin smiling dearly at his younger brother, holding Dwalin’s face in his hands tenderly.

***********###***********

Alright, then, maybe not so unthinkable a deed.

***********###***********

“My, my! What do we have here? Find a lass in your old age?”

“Naye. It’s Dori’s brother; the other one’s in a bit of a tight spot.”

“Arf! Arf!”

“He’s an adorable little tyke, in’ he?”

Ori reached up at the kneeling dwarf and tugged his beard. Dwalin let out a strong laugh.

***********###***********

Dori sighed, clearing his mind. In addition to Nori’s woes, he could hear additional voices coming his way, one of them Dwalin. He really, really hoped that whatever the axe-wielding brute did, Ori didn’t imprint on him too strongly.  
 _“Laurinquë?! What have they_ done _to you?!_ ”

***********###***********

“Why is the boy attached to a harness? This is a cruel deed!”

“Dori requested it be done. I understand the need; there were times when I wished I had one on _you_ , little brother.”

“Oh please, I was a _delight_. Com’ere lad, let me get this off of ye.”

Dwalin tugged the child towards him and detached the tether. He put his hands on his shoulders, grinned widely, enjoying how the boy’s fingers tangled in his beard.

“There ya go, lad! How’s that fer a cha-” THWACK. White light. Tittering little feet running away.

_“Mahal, CAPTAIN! Captain, are you alright?”_

“The Captain has been assaulted! _Set the perimeter, find the culprit!_ ”

“Gather the witnesses! Make sure we have a sketch by the end of the hour!”

“SECURITY BREACH! Sound the alarm!”

“Lord Balin! Are you alright? Have you seen the attacker?”

“Calm down, lad, it wasn’t an attacker, it - ”

“RAT!”

“That came from the kitchens! _Follow them!_!”

“Now listen here, will you - ”

The sound of shattering glass and clanging metals. “The armory!”

***********###***********

“Nori! Get off the grass, and get in here. No, I will not _ask them to sing a dirges for those flowers, so straighten yourself and get in here._ Looking at the state of you, no one would ever think of the heist committed in Rohan three days ago was accomplished by _you_.”

***********###***********

It took the entire afternoon for the Guard to catch up to the little dwarfling. It’s highly possible that they would have caught him sooner had Dwalin been available, but he wasn’t.

“Catch him! Find him!”

“Captain, are you sure you don’t want to lie down?”

“Nay I’m fine! Now follow me!”

Dwalin marched onwards, sideways, leaning his ear on his shoulder, trying to keep his balance. He huffed, face red and breathless, sluggishly waving his axe towards who knew where.

“Nguuhuuuuuarghghhmmmmmm!”

What could have been a battlecry, or a cry for help, was identifiable as a possible concussion - and two days without medical treatment - and Balin, who had long stopped trying to make himself heard, muffled his laughter in his thick beard.

“Nnngh! Nurrwaarggggaaaaa!” _Well, if you have a be’er idea, then please, by all means, throw in your two copper bits and participate in this dwarfling-hunt and enlighten us!_ \- is what the injured fully-grown warrior Dwarf possibly meant. He looked upset, which was understandable: the armory lay in waste, the kitchens raided and relieved of their honeycakes, hay floating in the stables with ponies snacking on the airborne foods.

Balin did not want to be the one to tell his little brother that he had to shoulder one more infringement on his personal responsibilities.

“MA ROSE BUSHES! NO!”

Well, there “telling”, and there’s “pointing”.

***********###***********

Dori was settling his distraught brother on one of the sofas when he heard the door open. He quickly refilled Nori’s cup of chamomile, and turned around.

Balin was carrying little Ori on his side, talking gently and pointing at the illustrations on the old tome in the boy’s arms. Ori had this endearingly sweet expression on his face, a mixture of deep, quiet interest, and a long, exhausting day of running about. Clearly, it was the time of day for little dwarflings to rest.

Dori straightened up at the sight of Thorin. Curious, the young lad was hardly to be seen anymore, responsibilities these days resembling less the complicated politics of Kings and more the everyday humilities of common folk, but a joy to see, nonetheless. So was this sight: Thorin waddling, arms creaking under the weight of books in his arms, smiling goofily at Ori and Balin, and Dwalin, walking with crutches and two ice-holding pillows wrapped around his bruised and battered head.

The injured dwarf settled himself heavily next to his fellow horticulturalist, letting out an unseemly groan for one his age.

***********###***********

Balin sat on a bench in the garden, and coaxed Ori onto his lap.

“Hullo there, laddie. Do you remember me? I used to drop by your brothers place and read you stories.”

Ori’s eyes lighten up. He drops the soft golden petals in his hands and climbs atop his lap, who grins with twinkling eyes.

“Still a silent one, eh? No matter, yer time’ll come. Here, do you remember how the line of Durin came to be? It was long ago...”

Mesmerised, Ori did not resist when Balin rearranged him on his hip and left the gardens, ignored the groaning figure cradled by a bed of flowers.

***********###***********

Gently, Dori relieved Balin of his bundle and cradled Ori, balancing him on one arm while the older dwarf untangled the leash from his arm. He bid his highness, who was enamoured with his little brother, goodbye and gathered his second younger brother, trying not to wince when, leaving through the front garden, he noticed the destruction and let out a pained wail, echoed by a deeper voice from within the home.

Just as well that Dwalin was nursing a deep wound in his soul, it wouldn’t _do_ if he paid too much attention to the evidence the brothers Ri left behind in their haste...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT (28.02.2012 after posting chapter 5) thank you greenkangaroo for your wonderful stories. i think i may have taken some of my Nori from you. not sure, but possible, so take your compliments and leave me be. no, your Nori isn't a drama queen, but there was something there.  
> in case it wasn't clear, Ori headbutted Dwalin after seeing them do it to each other. Dwarfling see, dwarfling do.


	6. Daddy, Bad Boy and Jailbait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the tin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the vagueness is on purpose. let's hope it's not too complicated.  
> comment if you like, i know i would, since i'm experimenting with various ways of representing a timeline witht a ruler and a pencil.  
> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/41898200798/the-brothers-ri-chapter-6-daddy-kink-bad-boy-and

The household Ri were kind enough to lend him a room while he stayed in this town. He was here three days, and would need to remain for four more if this particular employ was to be fruitful.

Only Dori was present, and welcomed him into their home with open arms. The older dwarf had always been a receptive ear, a kind smile, a warm embrace ready whenever he needed them, and he was still generous with his affections.

He dipped his bread in honey when Dori offered to pour him tea. Flustered at the voice in his ear, he eagerly agreed and choked around a mouthful of sweet bread when Dori bent over his shoulder, chest to back, and slowly poured the dark contents from pot to cup, fingers firm around the handle.

He blushes darkly, memories from the previous night flooding his senses. he remembers the scrape of the braided beard against his cheek, neck, stomach. The voice murmuring gently, resonating in his overloaded head, instructions and endearments, assurances and compliments. The hands, calloused fingers scraping against his back, thighs, knees, forearms and biceps stiff with tension and self-control, chest like a barrel, back like a shell, stomach like a ladder, arse like a peach, cock like a gift.

He was jerked out of his reverie by the banging of the front door. He looked up, meeting Dori’s eyes and flushing so deep the roots of his hair warmed up. The other winked back at him, and introduced the intruding dwarf, who thought it charming to barge through the door as an announcement.

Dori had business to conduct away from the city and would not be coming back during the rest of his stay. He was welcome to stay, of course, if he did not mind the company of his rapscallion little brother, Nori.

He spent two nights in a heated frenzy, feeling eyes on his skin. He ran his hands on his own skin, his neck, his thighs, his stomach, remembering Dori’s hands and his caring tone.

On the following night, he grits his teeth at the mocking look Nori throws his way, again. If that grin was any indication, he wasn’t particularly subtle, and not as quiet as he liked to think himself to have been the last few nights. But Nori didn’t stop at the grin; he always tilted his head back, just like that, inhaled his pipe deeply, tugged at his triple beard and tease. He teased with his eyes, with his cocked brows, toothy grin, with the slant of his hips.

At supper, enough was enough. He threw himself up and at Nori, tackling him onto the kitchen floor. There were certain preconceptions about a dwarf and his lifestyle: a dishonourable life lead to a weakened and infirm body, those who steal and run are of a weaker disposition than those who fight and remain as immovable as rock. To his surprise, Nori was not as weak as his employ of choice lead him to believe; his waist was solid, spine supple and undulating as he switched their positions and threw him into the counter.

The guest, startled, aroused, adrenalin pumping so fast through his veins it felt like they would leave his arms and legs, launched himself against the thief and they fought only like a tween would: underhanded, dirty, full-body contact. He bared his teeth and yowled like a tomcat, enjoying the lust in his veins for this _hunt_ , it was a long time since he engaged in fight like thi with those his own age. He and Nori could barely be ten years apart, and the ripeness of their youth could be seen in their spontaneous movements, their far-too-violent flails, their impatience.

They rolled, in flour and eggs and shells, neither giving in and rubbing until they were raw. By the morning, they were covered in bruises and cuts and edible goods, sticky and chafing in unmentionable places, exhausted after five rounds of sex. It was absolutely glorious.

It was also how he made his first re-acquaintance with the youngest of Ri after nearly four decades. Covering his member and resisting the urge to pick out eggshell fragments from it, he stammered and tumbled into the washroom, but not before giving a swift kick into Nori’s side, the prick, who wouldn’t stop laughing.

When he came back to the kitchen to apologise and offer to help clean, he found it spotless. On the table was a generous packed lunch - filled with sweet meats and fresh bread, by the smell of it - and a thermos filled to the brim with the black tea he was beginning to enjoy. Flustered by such a generous meal, the youngest Ri just smiled and refused to accept apology, instead extending his own for his older brother. Nori, as twere, had left in a hurry, the local police not having forgotten nor forgiven him for “rearranging the legal documents in the mayor’s office and causing for some incriminating evidence to see the light of day that weren’t supposed to”.

He laughed heartily, relieved that he was in the presence of the civil brother, and no longer the scoundrel. This laugh in particular got stuck in his throat when his hands brushed Ori’s, long and full of promise, tender and sweet, and he marched his way to his current employer, stubbornly trying to convince his brain that _Jail is a bad, bad place for bad, bad people, among whom he will find soulmates should he touch the not-quite-legal-yet youngling whose house he was living in_.

His brain was convinced. His breeches not so much.

He was sent home early by an employer who found his plight so amusing, he rolled on the floor with hysteria and gave him the rest of the days’ pay, no harm done. At least, no harm successfully fulfilled, as he nearly hacked his arm off with a red-hot hammer on a well-worn anvil. He did not want an injury that told the tale of an old man thinking of the forbidden about a boy. Well, he was in his prime, young and virile. And nothing he said would abate the guilt stewing in his stomach, especially that argument, it made him feel worse. Not even that Ori was, for all intents and purposes, legal now. This morning. Four hours ago, to be precise, if one wanted to count the hours as well as the days. Oh Mahal, he was old.

Determined, he entered his host’s home and steeled himself to be civil. He could have steeled, ironed, coppered and mercuried himself into a stiff board of resolutions, and still found himself on his back, under Ori, writhing and undulating. Shoving himself to and fro a delicious bottom, hugging tightly and gently, trying both to make this memorable for the lad, and not to think about the fact that he is _no longer a virgin as of thirty minutes ago_ , though also maybe not for a longer time, with his dinstinct lack of pain and the knowldge in his eyes. Much to his shame, that did do a lot for his ego, and he found he couldn’t rest until the wee hours in the morning, when the ravages of time reminded his spine of his age.

The following morning was mortifying. Nori had been pardoned by some miracle named “lack of evidence”, Dori returned from his trip, business short but fruitful, Ori smiling at him sweetly over his tea. They all talked as though they hadn’t collectively shtupped him within an inch of his life in the last week, he tried not to look at anything at all, in any part of the house, for fear that he would remember something and lose what was left of his blood.

As he bid his goodbyes, Ori gave him a sweet peck on his cheek like he did when he was twenty. Nori grabbed him into a bear hug, smacked his bum, winked. Dori embraced him, tapped him on his shoulders, smiled cheekily at him.

The awkward feeling in his stomach did not leave, not even when he came back home, been there a fortnight, sat at the bar, contemplating. His friends joined him in a drink. Thorin, Bofur and Dwalin took a deep swallow out of each of their drinks, thinking the same thoughts, muttering to each other.

“Those Ri brothers...”

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to hell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the only thing i will apologise for is the vagueness of it all. i'm trying not to be too obvious on who did what, which of the three in the end was the one i wrote about.  
> in case don't work: it was one of them who did them all in this chapter, and all three brothers did them all in older parts of the verse. yes, ori was underage with the other two. but it's not real, so leav me be.  
> please don't tell tolkien.  
> please.  
> also, if you have an idea or a preference on who the mysterious dwarf out of the three is, there is a comment box. go on! speculate!


	7. Don Dori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balin visits some old friends for a favour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's play "spot the godfather quotes"! yay! yes, this was the entire point of the whole fucking this. hence the title "The Brothers Ri". crime family. evil. cool. a little OOC, especially Ori.  
> I'm a little stuck with this, so it might be some time bfore a new update.  
> howver... surprise!  
> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/42282811938/the-brothers-ri-chapter-7-don-dori

Balin entered the the room, humming a small tune. The room was in the far back of the Braying Mule Inn, never free, but always characters of all sorts would enter and leave, sometimes richer, a lot of the times poorer, and sometimes... not at all.

This was risky business, but it had to be done. Not a hardship, considering their relationship.

“Balin, son of Fundin, my old friend! You’ve never approached me in my workplace, I never thought you knew.”

“Yes. Well.” Balin clears his throat. “Needs must. I’m sure you’ve heard of the new... development, concerning certain Wizard and a young nomad.”

“Aye.” The figure in the shadows folds his hands on the desk. “There is little in these parts that escapes my attention. Or his.” He nods, and from the shadows emerges Nori, like honey dripping from a cup. Nori conceals his curved knives; badly, a veiled threat.

Balin notices. “Heel, lad, I’ve been handling bigger threats than ye since before your beard became coarse. My friend -” he turned to th desk “- I never thought you’d bring yer own wee brother in the business.”

"A dwarf who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real dwarf. And I certainly don’t trust anyone, Man, Dwarf, Elf, Troll, who doesn’t know the value of family."

On cue enters Ori, small and drowning in knits, blow-cut head and downy tufted beard. One could almost overlook the mace, dripping blood and brain matter, and the cleverly fashioned illusion of an underfed lad with a slingshot. Balin was no fool. This... this was his own younger brother in the making. Balin felt a flutter in his heart.

“Ori! I’m sorry, Balin, the boy still hasn’t quite got the hang of _manners_.” To Ori: “Lad, the state of you! The mace, I know the reason for. But the dagger?”

The boy shrugged. “I jus’ wanted to see what he’d got under his fingernails...”

The older dwarf sighed and, Ori now at his side, ruffled his hair affectionately.

“Oh Ori, Sweet lad, you _know_ how I abhor violence. Blood is a big expense. Now, despite what _your brother_ tries to teach you -” Nori ducks his head “- there are more efficient ways to settle things. And what of Palw?”

“He’s right behind, collectin’. He’ll be right over.”

“Excellent. I’m very sorry, Balin, you were saying?”

Balin adjusted his belt and brushed his beard.

“I am here on behalf of Thorin Oakenshield. He and the Wizard have made some half-cocked plan to scamper their way to Erebor and reclaim the dead mountain. Unfortunately...” Balin shrugs, thinking of two particular brash dwarrows with no compulsion, or forethought.

“Unfortunately, a baker’s dozen of dwarrows, though in the company of Mister Gandalf himself are still short certain resources.” The other dwarf ran a hand over his tight braids, finishing Balin’s thoughts.

“Aye. But your word spreads over the lands and across the Mirkwood. Your aid would be quite the advantage.” He coaxed, and received a nod in answer.

“You flatter me. I can only help ease some ways, no miracles. This is a dangerous endeavour." He looks up. "Your King and your brother... our fellow _companions_ , are they aware that you seek our help?”

“Aye. And no... they are not aware of your ties with the shadow world. Nor your brother’s... But, I’m afraid, Nori’s reputation is another story entirely.”

Nori laughs. Ori giggles. Dori smiles kindly.

“I’m not quite as fond as anonymity as ma mam. Where’s the joy in le’in’ others reap what I have sown?” Nori took a step towards Balin with a gleam in his eyes. “But there is one thing we are agreed in: Ori’s name stays out until he is old enough to decide that he wants to stay, or leave.”

Balin smiled good naturedly. “Of course. By way of compensation, you will each have your pick of the dragon’s gold. Not exceeding one fourteenth; though, as common folk, I’m afraid that His Highness might reserve the right to shorten your rewards...”

Nori waves his hand. “Quite understandable. We’ll have a vested interest in keeping our methods hidden then.”

“Can I have a dragon’s tooth?” asked Ori, bouncing on his heels. Nori takes his head under his arms, tugging his braids.

“Should any of us make it out alive, I give you my word, upon my beard, the sons of Fundin will be at yer service.” He gave a short bow, and, with a twinkle in his eye, added “Dwalin too.”

“Well then!” Dori stood up, offered his friend a cup of his good whiskey, hand on his shoulder with affection. “That sounds like an offer I can’t refuse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am writing another ori-centric fic.  
> modern setting AU, Ori works in and lives above the Bag End Books library. He leads a double-life: by day, baggy knits, shaggy hair and thick rimmed glasses, he loves to work with books and laugh with his friends and brothers. by night, he is the high-class escort "Adam Brown", confident and discreet. his landlord, mr. bilbo baggins, also leads a double-life: no one would suspct proper mr. baggins of being the international thief "Freeman", a name he picked because he still is a free man, despite the man hunt.  
> i'm still working on the plot. as you can see, it looks complicated.  
> this is what happens when i have too much time on my hands, and can't think of proper relevant chapters.  
> ther's a comment box if you have any suggestions. you will be credited, and if i ver find out how to use the image embed thing, i might even illustrate it instead.  
> http://locite311.deviantart.com is my arthousething. check it out!
> 
> ... and yes, Balin may have just pimped his brother out. Maybe.


	8. Shepherd's Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after crashing Bag End, the dwarrows have some private time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Apparently, all I needed was some greenkangaroo, because this slipped out relatively quickly.  
> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/42362141214/the-brothers-ri-chapter-8-sheperds-pie

The sun rose over Hobbiton softly, the sky still purple and orange, rays and the breeze caressing greens. Whilst Master Hobbit lay sleeping in his own little bed, the dwarrows left the little Hobbit hole, and took their time to wander about the little town, to enjoy the rolling hills and the trickling river. It wasn’t often that they saw a fertile land such as this, rarer still their presence welcome.

The calm and peaceful scenery struck them deeply. Confronted with the reality of a “home”, their hearts ached at the thought of their oncoming quest. They’d never tell the young Master Hobbit, they couldn’t - and wouldn’t - begrudge his hesitance to leave this place, this warm and welcoming place, for a cold, dead mountain and the prospects of death staring into his face in the form of flambé’d flying razors.

Minds filled with melancholic thoughts, they made their way to the borders of Hobbiton, where their ponies were hidden behind shrubbery. 

“Thorin, you peanut, this isn’t where we left the ponies.” Dwalin.

“Obviously, they wandered off.” Thorin.

“Or... you just lost them! It’s alright, it happens to everyone.” Kili.

 _“I did not lose them.”_ Thorin.

“It’s alright. Here, let me call Nori.” Fili.

“That crook?!” Dwalin. Voice echoing.

“Just for that, I’ll let you chance finding your beasts of burden with his Majesty’s intuitive approach to map reading.” Nori appeared out of nowhere, and disappeared just as suddenly, reappearing next to the one stuck in wool.

“Thank you, Dwalin. It’s not like I went through any trouble to find any volunteers for our company.” Balin.

Sounds of shuffling movements. Shrieks, wails, thumping sounds. Thorin walked faster, letting Balin tug him the right way, away from the suspicious noises.

“Bofur! Share!” “Share!” “Come on! Be a friend!” “Yeah! Bofuuur!” Kili and Fili. 

This went on for a good hour. Bofur stills withholds whatever he has, the pestering princes continued, Bifur, Bombur, Oin and Gloin laughing uproariously. Dori lagged behind with Ori and Gandalf, collecting bits of nature and discussing something that had little to do with axes. Maybe. Nori was... somewhere. Unbeknownst to Thorin and Dwalin, Balin was taking cues from the shadowed figure, following his directions to the ponies.

Thorin’s forehead burns increasingly red, the longer his nephews demand whatever it was they wanted. It was when they reached the ponies that Thorin turned around.

“What?! What what what what what?! What is it that you so desperately need from Bofur that others can’t provide you with, that Bofur can’t take leave of?!”

If he could discern anything from the resulting wails, it was that Bofur had food and had been hogging it. His scowl evolved into a deep frown when Dwalin, outraged, joined in the frenzy as lifted Bofur from the ground, shaking him. Bifur intervened, whacking him with the blunt end of his spear. In the midst of the chaos, Thorin exclaims:

“Nori! Just give them whatever you scrounged from the Hobbit’s home and be done with it!”

“Stereotyping much?” Nori.

“Not stereotyping as much as quoting your contract.” Thorin.

Nori shrugs and beckons Ori over. Ori saunters over, tumbling a little, and pulls out from under his sleeve a bread roll. And another. And a sack of biscuits, which Dwalin confiscates forthwith. Apples, oranges, pears and peaches follow, from some pocket or another, claimed by Bifur. More bread rolls. Sausage rolls. A flask of ale. Pork pies. Black pudding. Tea bags, custard tarts, strawberry jam, sausages, rashers, onions. Gandalf snuck away a tart or two while the smaller creatures readied an eating space.

Within fifteen minutes, the dwarrows were sat on logs and grass, enjoying a hearty plundered breakfast.

Thorin was sat amongst his kin this meal, taking a gulp out of the ale before passing it on. Ori makes another round, distributing food from his sleeves as he passed along. Thorin froze when Ori reached him. The ginger dwarf fiddled with his knits, hands appearing with an entire shepherd’s pie. He offered the pie to the king, who accepted it, licked his bottom lip and gave him a wink. Thorin swallowed, following him with his eyes and, catching the glance of his older brothers, and hurriedly looked down at his pie. 

He was _going. To. Hel._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits to greenkangaroo, check her out. really awesome. (*cough* like she needs advertising *cough*).  
> All i wanted to do was play with Ori's knits. And Nori's big brother-ness. and to remind some of you of chapter 6. ♥ thorin/ori is a nice warm feeling of goodness.


	9. Little White Lies, No Harm Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dori lies to Nori, but all is good and well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me heart breaks at writing this. the next one won't be so jolly either. i think. this or the next, it depends on how it writes itself.  
> [tumblr](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/42579172758/the-brothers-ri-chapter-9-little-white-lies-no-harm)

I am tempted to pull a greenkangaroo and make these all unrelated, for what is about to happen next. very tempted. but no. also, don’t kill me. now or ever.

i’m serious. 

\-------------###-------------

Nori, a man of science, started thieving after he found Ori. The necessity of survival forced him to make considerable changes in his lifestyle. For one, having no time for his horticultural passion. A dwarf of scholarly passions, he had little to offer a world where the Dwarrows of Erebor were reduced to an army exploitable cheap labourers for the whims of Men. Instead, he turned to more desperate measures, using his already light and quick fingers for newer tasks.  
It was dishonest work. But this was a dishonest world, with dishonest rules and dishonest upholders of the law, so wherein lay his crime?

Dori knew all along. He heard whispers, when he came back from his own work and took his turn looking after little Ori, whispers from peeping neighbours and curious tongues, whispers that pitied him while damning Nori for his way of life. Dori remained willfully blind and deaf towards those rumours, and misleadingly mute when the local guards came knocking at his door, mistaking him for a Dwarrodam - flattering really, to be thought so strong and beautiful.

But Dori always knew. Frankly, he recognised the look in Nori’s eyes the moment he decided that an honest living was not possible, not in these parts, he knew long before Nori himself was aware that he swayed towards the dark side. He knew because he saw the look in his own eyes a long time ago, when he made the same decision himself.

It was the same he look he sported right now, this very instant, he saw his reflection in his empty chalice. It was the same look he saw on his mam’s face when she found out that...

The door opened. In came Url, son of Drel, husband to Sor.

Father to Dori.

“What do you want.”

“Have the laws changed so that a father may not seek out his own blood?”

“Nori is not of your blood.” Dori spat out between clenched teeth.

Url had the nerve to smile. “ _You_ are my blood. Therefore, everything you make, everything you build, everything you earn is also _mine.”_

Dori put both his hands on the table, trying to compose himself.

“Elaborate.”

“You have dug yourself a pretty niche here, in the Blue Mountains. And the Iron Hills. And various towns of Men too, I believe to have noticed. A nice, wide safety web of connections and moneys.” Url walks around the room, taking his fill of the trinkets on the mantelpiece and the paintings on the walls. “A web you only found the strength to accumulate thanks to _me_.” He stood abruptly. “You will give me a monthly allowance of 500 gold pieces. I want housings both in these mountains, and those east. A guard of ten soldiers. And, of course, you will clean up after me. I don’t want to end up in the cells.”

“What makes you think i will fulfill your demands?”

“There is a bounty on your head. Well, technically it’s on Nori’s head, the sweet boy, but...” Url stalks towards Dori. “... that sweetness, it would not do well in the cells, and telling the guard where to find him... and you won’t let that happen, be all _noble_ and take his place.”

The brass table dents under the pressure of Dori’s fingers. His face still impassive. The older dwarf hisses, touching his heart as though it was pierced. It wasn’t, of course. His shoulder, however, bloomed with pain as a hook was stabbed through.

“What exactly” Dori began, voice calm, as he ran his hands over his meticulous braids “Do please tell me, what exactly took possession of your mind to make you think that I would indulge your goldlust and perverse desires?”

Another hook pierced Url in the other shoulder and he was lifted from the ground. He grunted in pain, refusing to scream. Dori threw a glass of water on his face.

“Look at me, no! Look - _look me in the eyes_! Do you know why we are the Brothers Ri? Hm? Because Men do not recognise maternal genealogy, and dwarven laws forbid a divorced dwarrowdam to marry, otherwise we’d be known as the Sons of Wral, all of us and not just Nori.”

The hanging dwarf let out a wet cough, spat blood on the floor.

“Wral... that half-blood! That _taint_ of a dwarf, your mother never should have left me for him, that worthless _whore_ -” the ropes of one hook loosened without warning, causing him to drop down several feet, the hook in the other shoulder digging into his bone. He let out a scream, a dwarf melted from the shadows to press a muffling cloth to his mouth. When the whimpers subsided, he crept back into his corner, giving father and son the illusion of privacy.

Dori tapped Url’s forehead with a soft cloth, removing his sweat.

“Now, now, there’s no need to get carried away with such language. And while you’re at it, you ought to get your facts straight. She didn’t _leave_ you. What she _did_ was catch you fondling a human child in Dale, break every bone in your body save your spine, carve the symbol for _Absolute Criminal_ into your face and back. Merciful, considering what the laws against child raping were in our old home, but she told me _Dori, love, he is your father. A monster, responsible and guilty of the worst of crimes, but he gave you life, my child, the only good deed he has ever performed in his miserable life. I owe him for you, who are good and just, and for that I will spare him my hand._”

Url swayed from the ropes, Dori pushed him.

“You gave me life. I didn’t kill you when you came back and almost took Nori from school. I ripped your leg at the knee clean off, but you’re not dead. Debt repaid. That is the extent of your entitlement to this family’s fortunes, riches and comforts. So, please, _do not take me for a fool and give me one. Good. Reason. Why I should indulge you any further?”_

Url swallowed thickly through the pain pulling at his muscles and bones.

“He followed me. Of his own free will. I didn’t _force him into anything_ -”

 **“You were grooming him!”** Dori roared. **”You dropped by his school in the shadows, hidden from all prying eyes, you _preyed upon his age and his trust_ , if Wral nor I were there on that day Nori would have been _gone_ !”** Furious Dori sliced one rope, leaving the other hanging by one shoulder.

Url grabbed the remaining restraint and attempted to pull himself up, to lessen the pressure. Dori moved to the back of the room, poured himself a cuppa.

“You can... keep... that filthy... Wrl replicate... he’s too old for me...”

Dori poured himself another.

“I want _my son_...”

“You have no _son_.”

“My wife had a _spare!”_

_” ‘Your wife’ had no such thing!”_

_**”There was another!”** _

_**“There was no other! Just a stillborn-”**_ Dori widened his eyes. Stepped back. _”You._ The doctor... with the surgical mask and the midwife... you robbed it...?”

“It was _mine_ to begin with, Sor relinquished her claim as mother when she _didn’t bother to come look for it!”_

“She was grieving for a babe lost.”

“She abandoned it to die and I gave it mercy, I took it in! The boy is _mine_ , you shall return onto me my own! _He’s mine, give him back!”_

Dori leant back on his desk, looking at the raving dwarf hanging from the beams of his room, dread filling his insides. “You were grooming him. You waited too long until I was too old. Nori was too well protected. Ori... he wasn’t abandoned on the road, he _ran from you_ and _cried for help_ , Mahal _you were nearby following us!”_

_“I want him back! thief! Return to me what you have stolen, you son of a marked whore!”_

Dori reached over, dislocated then crushed his jaw. Three figures appeared from the shadows.

“Sir.”

“Wrap him up. Give him to the Watch Guards, with a nice bow, on their doorstep. A child rapist like him, they won’t ask who caught him.”

“Yes Sir. And...”

“... and not a word to Nori. Anything said in this room tonight will not leave the walls.”

“Yes Sir.”

“Or the ceiling, or the floors. And contact Qor.” He added with an afterthought.

“Of course sir.”

\-------------###-------------

Dori comes home to find Nori wrestling Ori to the ground, trying to shove something green down his gullet.

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Eat it!”

_”Nooooooooo!”_

“Curse it, why did I ever teach you that word?! Now eat it!”

_”Noooooooooooooooo!!”_

Dori just sat at the table, rescuing his plate before the supporting furniture flew across the room, and enjoyed his dinner.

In no time, Ori was too exhausted to keep his eyes open and fell asleep in Nori’s arms, refusing to let go.

“So, how was it?”

“Hm?”

“You said an old friend was coming to ask you a favour?”

“Ah. Yes. I found Ori’s mam.”

“Oh.” Nori shifted.

“You won’t believe it, it’s Auntie Qor, mam’s sister.”

Bright eyes, surprise. “That explains Ori’s strength!”

“Aye. Qor lost him in the wandering, the crowd pushed through, terribly worried. Asked us if we could keep him, she wasn’t earning enough to feed the brood she already has. Told her of course!”

Nori smiled widely, happiness flowing through his entire body at the reality of holding his little cousin.

Dori finished his soup. Little white lies, no harm done.

\-------------###-------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm... not quite sure i want to pin this on greenkangaroo. there's a level of ow-ness that is NSFW  
> for the sake of clarity: Sor had nori, then was pregnant again. among at ori's birth, url disguised himself as medical staff and told them the child died, and took it.  
> at the wandering, ori escaped somehow,


	10. The Silence Before the Storm...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> subtitle: Chaos and Anarchy in one afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is no explanation. Modern Family reference. if you can tell me which episode, you'll get a cookie.  
> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/42739344563/the-brothers-ri-chapter-10-the-silence-before-the

\-------------###-------------

This was a peaceful day. Nori walked though the markets, trinkets catching his eye and loose satchels catching his fingers. Instead of taking them, he tied them tighter. He even paid for the needles he thought Dori would like. He bumps into Bofur, and they engage in several games of chess. By the third game, it was quite obviously a friendly contest on who cheated more outrageously to lose by the highest margin.

\-------------###-------------

Thorin was having a good day. Months ago, at the turning of the year, it was almost the centennial of the loss of his father and grandfather. That brought a lot of brooding on his part; he reminisced and questioned and doubted his decision to settle in the Blue Mountains.  
Walking the streets with Balin and Oin at his sides, watching fellow dwarrows working and living and _jesting_ amongst each other, the pain of loss a bare dull, Thorin inhales from his pipe, and finds the budding reluctance of peace.

\-------------###-------------

Bombur sat with Gloin, surrounded by their young. Twelve children of Bombur, one son of Gloin, they regaled each other of stories and tales of glory of their offspring, while their offspring tumbled around them in play. Dis would join them, Fili and Kili in tow, taking a deep breath from her pipe.  
On any other day, Fili and Kili would taunt the younger children into a wild chase and fight across the yard. Today, it was a harmless game of tag and mud-slinging, tying knots and clapping hands.

\-------------###-------------

Ori was being agreeable. He was writing, and learning to enunciate Khuzdul, and Bifur sat with him and patiently, with a lot of gesticulation, talked him through his vocabulary. That wasn’t unusual at all. The unusual bit lay in that Dori was available to sit with Ori during his lessons. Usually, he was busy. At work. With Individuals. Any more information, and he would have to kill you. Seriously.  
Today was a rare moment of peace, Dori thought, smiling to himself, and he sat back, Ori leant against him, Bifur was enjoying a day of clarity.

\-------------###-------------

Dwalin walked the marketplace, feeling oddly peaceful. No brawls, no thievery, nor killing or betraying or saving a kit off a branch. Altogether a dull day for a watch guard, and he was _fucking enjoying it_. That was unsettling. This was a new feeling. Not unpleasant, by any means, just... he felt like something was off. Deep in his bones, he felt the need to scamper off into the deepest, darkest, dankest cave and seek shelter from an oncoming storm.  
Dwalin stopped, and shook himself. _Oncoming storm_ , really, of all the gentle-minded foolishness to cross the space between his ears, that silly trope had to be the one.

\-------------###-------------

At the gates of the mountain, there entered an individual. It was male. It had the fetching cheeks and the alluring locks of a dame, but it was taller than three dwarrows atop each other, and therefore not a dwarf, and other in kinds only the males were hisuite, the females remained bare like children, which was disturbing altogether.  
Every step the tall _man_ took seemed to shake the ground, every time his staff struck the floor, the clouds would change their paths and turn darker,  
And the closer he got to the centre of the mountain, the colder the air bcame.

\-------------###-------------

It started like this; Fili slipped and grabbed Gimli by the ankle. Gimli throws him a rock, which misses and strikes Bombur’s daughter in the face. _He hit a girl._  
She, of course, threw a bigger rock much harder at the little boy, her brothers attacked Gimli, Gimli reached to pull Fili in front of him, Fili pushed his on little brother in his place.  
Bombur saw his girl being hit, is outraged. Gloin was torn between apologising for a female being attacked, and bragging about the prowess of his blood. Dis flexed her muscles, ‘gently’ reminding them that dwarrowdams are stronger than dwarrows, more violent and prone to anger.

Chaos ensued.

\-------------###-------------

Dori reacted before he realised that a sharp and heavy projectile was heading his way. He threw Ori in the air, caught the spear and threw it back with more force right above the assassin’s head (and three houses farther). Bifur waited, arms stretched, for Ori to return into orbit, while Dori called his minions to arms to find the moron who tried to kill him with his brother present, and the asshat who hired him, and to give them proper lessons in etiquette.

And he had hoped for a day off...

\-------------###-------------

Anarchy erupted in the Central Markets of Ered Luin when a javelin speared a chess table in half. Two dwarrows looked up, and accidentally caught the sight of each other. A moment of deafening silence echoed through the air.  
No one saw how it started. Without warning, one dwarf with tattoos and no hair, and another dwarf with all hair and no skin blemishes, were at each other’s throats, punching and kicking and spitting and fu-uundoing a lot of the hard work behind Nori’s intricate hair. The crowds ran amok in panic over airborne weapons. Scandalised parents lifted their young ones away from adult situations. Scandalised prudes complained loudly about public inappropriateness and vowed to bring their complaints to _Very Important People_.  
Bofur just let himself be grabbed by the scruff and tugged in.  
He really hope he was getting out of this with less broken bones than last time...

\-------------###-------------

One moment, he was discussing the price of grain with a merchant, the next Oin found himself hanged on a branch by his ankles. He looked around, and saw both King and Advisor in a similar quandary. The stampede had subsided, now focused more in the central market place, dissipating from the shadow that loomed over them, closer and closer.  
The three dwarrows shook themselves from the branches, landing heavily on discarded (sharp) objects.

“Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the Mountain, I bring news from the East. An opportunity, singular and grievously dangerous, that you will not wish to pass.” boomed Gandalf the Grey.

Oin removed his ear trumpet to save the last of his hearing, Balin stared incredulously, Thorin took a deep, calming breath from his pipe.

“Aw, _shit. It's Gandalf...”_

\-------------###-------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next one won't be nice.


	11. Feckless Cowards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to be a straightforward chore. Go to the market, get food, come back. But it wasn't. of course it wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have been postponing the shit out of this chapter. it broke my heart writing it, and still breaks my heart re-reading it.  
> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/42930834013/the-brothers-ri-chapter-11-feckless-cowards-torture

I am postponing the shit out of this chapter. I wantd to post this on valentine's, but hey. no on'es that heartless. and i gots a surprise for Douvle Lives.... hint: erestor. ♥

Is really sad, Saaaaaaaaaaaaad.

\-------------###-------------

The Company ran, bleeding and covered in mud, They ran for two days, had been for three already, away from meadows and into the depths of the woods.

When Thorin turned to Balin for advice on trustworthy members or the expedition, Dori son of Sor was one of the first names to pop up. Of course, with the same breath, one voice shouted out ‘Nori the Notorious Nuisance’ with outrage, and a scuffle ensued, settled by good old dwarfish means. The tavern leveled within two hours, a month’s ration of ale disappeared under mysterious circumstances, and Dwalin was pacified. Balin would contact Dori, ask for his help.

Dwalin hoisted the figure on his back higher, trying to avoid worsening the wound. Words echoed in his ears, cruel taunting hateful words. Words and screams of mercy, of hopelessness, and with those screams the ghost of a blazing fire on his back.

Gandalf shouted for a halt. They would rest here, in the cave, before moving on. Even Thorin didn’t find it in himself to protest. The Wizard struck a fire when Bifur and Gloin came back with firewood.

Dori relieved Dwalin of the burden on his back, placing his unconscious brother in the back of the cave.

“No on come near him. Only Oin and Master Baggins,” The healer, and the most harmless and gentle-hearted of their company. “Trust me, you don’t want to provoke him.”

Oin was taking a look at the others while Dori paced, hyper aware of his surroundings. Balin too kept his senses focused on the happenings outside the cave. The others were sat around the fire. The mood was sombre. Kidnappings, snatchings, tortures of all kinds were commonplace among the traveling dwarfish populace, After the fall of Erebor, predators took advantage of the homeless and traveling, projecting upon them unspeakable tortures.

Every one knew. But there was knowing, and _knowing_. News of opportunistic sadists reached all ears, but it was doubtful that dwarrows of Thorin’s standing and his entourage had any inkling of what the rumours hinted at. That much was obvious; the way they stared at the fire, the way they shivered, the way they huddled. The way Thorin clutched his bowl, trying to swallow his food. The way Dwalin’s shoulders and back ceaselessly tensed and straightened and hunched over, pointedly ignoring the unconscious figure. The way Kili couldn’t keep his eyes off him, shaking and startled with every movement. Bilbo cradled Ori’s knits and slingshot in his arms, still in shock. Gloin and Bifur glanced at Dori, weapons ready.

An hour passed. Two. The sun was to rise soon. Oin redressed the bandages on the five victims. It was Gandalf who broke the silence.

“Your brother... is he alright?”

Dori stopped. He remained facing away from them all. He couldn’t look at them. He couldn’t.

“Of course he isn’t, confound you, Wizard!” Thorin, shivering in outrage, pride hurt. “The humiliation, the suffering, you have no idea-”

“With all due respect, your Majesty” Dori interjected “Neither do you and yours.”

Thorin, though filled with rage, saw enough in Dori’s eyes to stay put. Dori was the strongest Dwarf in the Blue Mountains, possibly the strongest alive. Balin once told him that Dori tore through a pack of orcs when he and his own strayed from the Wandering with his bare hands; had once alluded to his dealings, illicit and often fatal for the opposing party. Thorin wished he didn’t dismiss the stories, not with their current situation.

“When you aren’t of kingly or noble blood, the kindness of strangers is all you have to trust for. There is no respect, no honour, no decency. Your Majesty resents his life of hardship, of bowing to the whims of Men when really, you have no idea what is is, _to truly bow to their whims, to depend entirely upon their goodwill, **begging to dead deities for them to have any at all left for you**.”_

A rustle; disturbances five miles east. Dori tensed and readied himself for the inevitable, removing jerin and tunic, revealing scars down his arms and back. Not scars won in battles; burns, deep and localised, deliberate. Knife wounds, carvings of cruel symbols. At Bilbo’s choke, he realised they hadn’t seen his back before.

“The kindness of strangers and the goodwill of Men come in many forms, dear burglar. Men love their fights. They are Tall, for sure, but their skin breaks easily. Centre of gravity too far off the ground, strength disproportionately distributed. The fights end too quickly, Men are delicate creatures. Dwarrows are not.”

“I... I’m so sorry to hear that...”

“It was through no fault of yours, Master Bilbo.”

Bilbo squeezed Ori’s knits to his face, trying to take comfort from the soft fabric. Instead, the act only inflamed his worries. “What about Ori? He lost his mind out there, will he... and Nori?”

Around the fire, nobody spoke, nobody moved. It was deeply intimate a question, but in light of what happened in the camp of Men... of what Nori did for them, for Fili and Kili and Thorin and Dwalin, while the others were searching for them, stalling for time... of Ori’s anguished scream... the question needed to be answered. Dori glanced at his sleeping little brother, and turned his attentions back to the approaching dwarf from east.

“I haven’t an inkling. I suspect, I determine, I... Whilst I delivered the spectacle they asked of me, Nori took Ori for a walk. In the town, it was supposed to be safe. They knew us, they knew _me and my trade._ And they took them anyway. I found them. I found them, and... Nori was undressed, bleeding, arms twisted and bones broken, and Ori... I had to shove the bodies out of my way to get to them. I suspect they assaulted him, looking at his wounds and their state of undress I can _assume they_... and Ori saw everything, _he saw everything_ and I can’t help him, or get revenge, because he won’t tell me anything, he won’t talk.”

“Why are you telling us this?” Fili croaked, eyes dead.

“Because...” Ori approached their camp, only clad in his underthings, trousers and heavy boots, covered in blood, breathing heavily. “... I wasn’t the one who ripped the men to pieces.”

Before Ori could step into the cave, Dori reached back and punched him with all his strength, sending him into the undergrowth. Startled, the Company stood and raised their arms, shouting.

“Have you lost your senses!?” Dwalin growled.

Dori cracked his neck, reached for two weapons; his sword, Nori’s mace, hoisted them to his shoulders.

“Ori is a son of Sor. Her strength runs through our blood. He burns with anger and vengeance.” Dori told them, calm.

Sure enough, Ori walks through the undergrowth in their direction, unfrazzled by the hit that would have cleaved Dwalin himself in two. Thick swallows could be heard in the deafening silence surrounding the two brothers. Dori continued to speak, falsely calm, Ori didn’t seem to hear him.

“Keep an eye on Nori. And stay away from us. You don’t want to fight him under this madness.”

With a scream Ori lunged at Dori, grabbing Nori’s mace from his hands. The fight was brutal, every miss on Ori’s side would dent the earth and splinter trees. Rage and adrenalin flowing through his veins like roaring wind, the younger dwarf’s clumsy fighting was more dangerous than that of any seasoned warrior. Young, with energy to spare, the strength to match Dori’s own, blinded by rage. Bilbo walked backwards into the cave until he reached Nori, still knocked out, and slid down the wall. He clutched the ball of knits to himself.

Dori started to hit Ori directly on his person; slowly the injuries took their toll on the younger’s body, both trying to supply him with the energy to move and to repair the damage inflicted, and his temper just inflamed. Though he didn’t show it, Dori too felt the burn of exhaustion. Ori was almost as strong as he was without the burden of age coming into his stamina, but he was quite literally blind and deaf with fury, mind empty of rational and strategy the more time passed, and he used that to tire him out more.

Bifur and Gloin stood by, ready to intervene if need be. Thorin stayed close to his sister-sons, the weight of recent events slowly crushing his shoulders.

With a thud and a whimper, Ori just collapsed. His muscles froze, his rage dissipated and fatigue set. Dori took his head and placed it on his shoulder, shushing, While Ori wailed and cried like a babe. He clutched at his older brothers shoulders, let himself be carried to his unconscious one, and snuggled to his side as much as their wounds allowed, snuffling pathetically.

Nori shifted at the distressed sounds, tilted his head towards them, his exhales nearly embracing the sounds of Ori’s name.

“i believe... “ Gandalf gravely announced “... it would be wise to remain put for a while. To heal.”

\-------------###-------------

It was supposed to be a straightforward chore. Go to the market, get food, come back. Dori sent Nori to haggle, Dwalin joined him _because he might steal the food instead of paying for it, dratted ~~peach-arsed~~ bastard_ , Fili and Kili wanted sweets, Thorin followed _to make sure they actually bought what was on the list, dammit._

But it wasn’t. Of course it wasn’t, because while Kili was positively repulsive for a dwarfish youth, he was delicious by the standards of Men. Nori noticed unsavoury fellows following them, told the others of the bothersome tail, and weaved their way through the markets, trying to lose them. Fortune was not on their side, they were ambushed while a commotion distracted the guards on the other side of town. Luckily, Nori thought while a bag was shoved over his face, he had the smarts to tie knots on the stands they passed, and the double smarts to puncture a bag of sand that coloured in the dark and slip it into his captor’s satchel.

He’d been in a situation as such before. A long, long time ago. Many times since, if he was going to count all the ridiculously stupid failed attempts, and it was obvious that his fellow captives had not. Nori looked at their faces when one Man, in a flaming red tunic, approached Kili, saw the moment the precise nature of their abduction dawned on them.

The Men, foul creatures with perverse desires, laughed and tied the knots tightly, keeping them a distance from each other, preventing collective escape. Red was closely followed by Green, they held Kili to the ground, with mocking gentleness opening his clothes to their interests. Kili struggled, Thorin ordered them to stop, Fili pleaded, Dwalin roared with anger. More and more Men approached the camp, a dozen by now, feeling up the dwarrows.

Hair was tangled in large hands, vests torn, trousers tugged below the buttocks, non were spared.

Time was running out, He knew Dori, he knew Ori, he knew their response time, he only had to hold on a little longer... Red uncovered his cock and made his way to Kili’s bottom. Nori let out a derisive laugh.

"You’re pathetic, you really are. I know people like you. Sad little people, littler than us. Getting off on small children and small women and Small Folk, just you need to feel strong. Pitiful, the lot of you."

Red dropped Kili, who breathed like a racehorse, and walked towards the mouthy dwarf.

"Oooh, wounded your pride, did I? You have none, you mackerel. Think you’re worth more than you really are, you entitled little _shit_ -"

Red struck him in the face. Green shoved Dwalin aside, moving to kick the already bleeding dwarf.

"What, now you’re hitting me? Can’t you just tell me how much you hate me? Oh, let me guess, you don’t know the words! Here let me help you, let’s start with small ones you _just might_ understand -"

One strong kick to the side and Nori rolled on his stomach, trying to protect his organs. At this point, it really didn’t matter whether or not he faced the princes. He could only distract the Men _from_ them, not spare them the sight of violence altogether. He didn’t bother hiding screams when the whip came down between his shoulders and down his back.

"Oh ho ho, kinky! Tell you what, that saying about feet and cock is absolute shit. You give a good kick, but your cock is a laugh. Honestly, I don’t think Pretty over there would have even _noticed_ -"

A hook was stabbed through the shoulder, Nori is dragged up by the attached rope and flung near the fire, in full view of the other dwarrows. He let out a clenched scream, forcing out a laugh.

"Aha... ha.. ya know, I know a lad who died on a hook... My da’... Well, my brother’s, got' same mother, but this fellow... this fellow was a real prick... Ya know... he doesn’t think I know, my brother, and I didn’t, found it out later, when information became my business... hahahahahaaa... What are the odds I’ll die like that old freak? He was a lot like you, a _feckless coward who **fucked children** -"_

A hand locked around his throat, punched his face and chest. Tore at the fastenings of his clothes, gave up and settled for ripping down his breeches to his ankles. Grabbed his cheeks. Parted them. Stabbed into him. In front of the King, his cousin, the Princes. Nori clenched his teeth, swallowed a groan. Forced his breath even, shoulders shaking, head wound bleeding fast.

"Aw _bollocks_... if I bleed to death before Dori comes and Ori sees me, he’ll _kill_ me..."

The Men froze. They started to shake, looked around themselves frantically.

"... didn’t I tell you? _Nori, of the Brothers Ri_ , brother to Ori and **Dori** , _at your service_."

With a roar, Dori swung in, The captives were untied, Dori bundled Nori up in a blanket. The Men fled. Nori tried to talk, but gave into his wounds. Dwalin hoisted him up on his shoulder, following the others into safety. Thorin helped Kili reclothe, him and Fili each grabbing an arm before heading west.

Ori removed his knits at Dori’s quiet instructions while the others got a head start, though Balin caught a word or two.

_I can’t stop you, so I won’t. No one lives. No evidence. Burn it all._

\-------------###-------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have any ideas for future chapters, i'm all ears.  
> Don Dori? Brothers Ri? any takers?  
> i'll go lie down and cry now...


	12. Naughty Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Someone's_ been a naughty boy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dwalin-lovin' <3  
> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/43075605055/the-brothers-ri-chapter-12-naughty-boys-dwalin-nori

Nori was the epitome of everything Dwalin despised. Light on his feet, quick with his fingers, sharp with his eyes, clever with his tongue. He lied, cheated, stole, betrayed, manipulated, conned every single close friend of Dwalin’s, wound up jailed more than a few times.

Which was why Thorin was _never, ever, **ever** to find out about this._

_Ever._

He was in jail. In a cell. An interrogation cell. With bars. Far away from prying eyes and ears. And manacles. On his wrist. Chained to the ceiling.

He never should have gone to a tavern to drown his most recent failed attempt to imprison Nori. He never should have walked up to him when he spotted him at the bar, half drunk and sniffing for retribution. He never should have challenged Nori to a drinking game. He never should have dragged Nori to the back of the tavern and sucked his cock. Or fuck him open with his tongue. And fingers. And cock. He never should have dared Nori that he could outwit Nori at his own game.

 _Why_ did he think he could rob a treasury better than Nori?! Stupid, moronic, idiotic fellow! He tugged at his chains, not very comfortable where he was. Kneeling, ankles manacled to the floor, arms stretched upwards, hanging from suspended chains, this was turning out to be some weird scene he felt he needed a safeword for.

He really hoped he didn’t need a safeword by sundown.

Or at all.

He was locked up a scant hour when the locks jingled and a cloaked figure slipped in. He moved too fast and too quietly. No distinct odours, overly careful movement, the distinct mocking laughter that _got him here in the first place._

“NORI! Nori, get me out of here! You little shit! This is all _your_ fault!”

 _“I’m_ not the one who marched right into the treasury with the subtlety of a starving warg.”

“Shut your mouth and-”

“Tell me, how did the ‘straightforward, good old charge with an axe and hammer always have the best results’-thing work for you?”

“Rotten thief, get-”

“Oh ya, that’s right, _it didn’t!”_

 _“Shut your trap_ and relieve me from these restraints, if you’ll be so kind!” Dwalin snarked, patience stretching thin.

There was no answer. Dwalin breathed faster, did the blasted shadowman disappear on him again?! He jerked in his chains when he was embraced from behind, nimble hand unfastening his breeches. Dwalin struggled, but didn’t go very far, shackled by wrist and ankles. He felt little pride, in this time and place, that the measures he had put in place in Ered Luin to more effectively hold _prisoners_ had spread out to other places, and were perfectly functional.

“You _cursed_ halfwit, I said _release_ me, not _fondle_ me!”

“Oh... but I _am ‘_ releasing’ you from your ‘restraints’, _m’dear...”_

The fingers combed through his pubic hair, petting his crotch like one would a kitten. Testicles were cradled, arsehole poked and prodded, cock tugged and pulled, Dwalin choked and jerked his hips, painting the cold stone floors white.

Hands retreated, Nori stood in front of the gasping dwarf and grabbed his face in his hands, leaned in...

The lock at the cell door jingled, and a hiccuped cry erupted from the new individual.

“Nori! _What_ are you _doing?!”_

Nori quickly and roughly pulled Dwalin’s tunic back down, covering his bared cock. In doing so he felt an erection growing - _Again?!_ \- and raised his eyebrows. Dwalin refused to look away from the ceiling.

“Brother, you’re early. Does Dori know you’re here?”

“ _Dori_ told me you’re here! He _sent me here to make sure you aren’t provoking him!”_

” _Provoke_ him? I would _never!”_ Nori reached out, pulling Ori in a hug. “Peace, fret not, little brother, it was all just a little harmless teasing.”

He winked at the prisoner. Dwalin burned red, eyes trapped on the brothers. Nori put a gentle hand on Ori’s jaw, pulling him closer. Ori’s lips parted slightly, eyes blinking owlishly. Dwalin’s Little Dwarf throbbed now, the sticky tip drawing white marks on his stomach and tunic. Nori whispered some endearments, and Ori, soothed, gave him a peck on the lips.

Dwalin pulled the chains on his wrists.

Ori let out a cheerful laugh, Nori swung him around, grabbing him under his bum to lift him.

Dwalin’s ankles yanked his manacles.

Ori struggled playfully, Nori lifted him over his shoulder.

Dwalin’s mind brought him back to the night at the tavern. _Him and Nori punched and kicked each other. Then tankards were placed in front of them, they drank. More tankards. More drinking. A perky arsed lad passed by, plying them with more alcohol._

Nori gave Ori a playful slap. _ That perky arsed lad. _In their playful struggle, Nori caught a few more chaste kisses from Ori _._

Dwalin tensed his arms. He needed them to stop.

“That’s enough, boys. This is neither the time, nor the place for playfighting.”

‘Playfighting?’ Is that what they’re calling this now?

“Dori! We were just fooling around!” Damn right you we- _Dori_.

“The laws here state that criminals do not have rights of visitation with other criminals. We have laws for a reason, Nori. _You_ are the reason for _this_ law. Now shoo.” 

Dori spoke gently, kindly, and with just as much tenderness fussed over his brothers’ tunics. He straightened them, fixed their hair. Chaste kisses were exchanged and the younger ones left.

Dwalin was too busy screwing his eyes shut, mentally trying not to think about the distracting, tempting, and really quite private fantasy involving all three incredibly handsome brothers. Hugging. And straightening clothes. _And removing clothes. And trailing hands, peppered kisses, intense kisses, red cheeks and moans and gorans-_

He was yanked out of his mind by a loud shout. He realised that it was his own. He screamed. And the sudden burn on his back and arse explained the loud noise.

Dori bent over his back, talking into his ear.

“Dwalin, Dwalin... What will Balin think? Always such a good boy, we never thought it likely that you would imitate Nori’s bad habits...”

Dori’s reprimanding hand lifted his tunic over his shoulders and tugged his breeches down to his knees, exposing back and bum to the cold air, his questing hands, and something that felt like a long... sturdy... flog...

By sundown, he was wishing he had a safeword.

_Sort of..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> high five! someone! anyone?  
> what sort of safeword would dwalin have, i wonder...?  
> seriously though. i'm running out of ideas. the next Double Lives chapter is burning my synapses, i need help.


	13. The First Heist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's nori's first heist. nothing goes as planned. ori's very good at imporv.  
> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/43635074271/the-brothers-ri-chapter-13-the-first-heist-crack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was put to my attention that i have yet to write an ori-centric chapter in Brothers Ri. so, here is the first.  
> for you, RabidFangirlMutterings...
> 
> also, check out Dirty Deeds by greenkangaroo. especially chapter 60; i tried commenting, and sat there for then minutes not being able to type. consider this your comment, green! your thief _extraordinaire_ , and my virgin!

\-------------###-------------

Nori was a Master Thief. There was nothing he couldn’t do, no heist he couldn’t pull, no feindish and fantastical daring do that he couldn’t overcome.

He didn’t start an expert in all manners of illicit proclivities, no matter what he said to Dwalin to rile him up.

The First Heist was an occasion to be celebrated among this... _Community_. The New Recruits would be given a task, a goal, an object to steal or a place to infiltrate, as much material as they would need and as much time to plan as possible. When they were ready, a fortnight before the intended activity, the Bosses would gather and eat and drink and tell tales of their own Firsts, all ridiculous and spectacular and with at least triple the number of guards than were present in the actual fact.

Dori, feeling very generous, fed everyone in the neighbourhood enough to last a month when Nori and his fellow newbies announced they were ready. He baked and cooked and knitted and crafted and, quite frankly, scared a lot of people for a very long time. Most won’t recover for three generations.

Rumours of a Boss being _nice_ spread like a lethal odourless gas through the entire mountain; you didn’t know the source, you didn’t know the identity, you didn’t know the contents, you only knew it was dangerous and it would strike quickly and painlessly.

The guards were on high alert. On the balconies, on the yards, on the stairs, on the towers, behind the beams, under the marketplace stands, in bad camouflage the guards, sleepless and paranoid and startling at every sound, were _ready_. They were so _ready_ that they missed the heist entirely.

And that was a good thing. Because _this_ was the most mortifying thing Nori had ever done, and he was grateful that the Rules of Initiation didn’t allow _Don_ Dori near the First Heist, because Ori wanted to smack himself in the face.

One more time, and his handprint would be as permanent as a tattoo on his entire face, red and hot. At a particularly _humiliating_ misstep and near topple-to-certain-death-towards-sharp-rocks-at-the-bottom-of-the-Mountain, Ori took a deep breath and fastened the harness around his person.

And ran.

“Captain! Are you alright?! Have you been ambushed?”

“Nay, Sergeant, at ease. I jus’ toppled over the wee lad. Com’ere, let me help you up.”

Gentle hands helped him off the ground, ruffling hair and straightening clothes, not seeing rope thrown over the wall and gangly scaling younglings.

Some guards gathered round, taking in the sight of a dwarf child. Ori shuffled, just so, and blinked owlishly at the taller beings, widening his eyes at every sentence.

“How precious!” “How sweet!” “I cannae believe my eyes, is that really a child?” “Oh look how soft his beard is!” “Like goose down!” “Does it eat?” “Aww he sneezed!” “How adorable!”

A rope was thrown. Missed. Another throw. Miss. The hook at the end of the rope let out an echoing clang when it clawed around the wall. Big Eyes don’t solve _everything_... Some started to turn around, other were still intrigued.

“He’s tiny!” “How do you know it’s a He?” “Aye! It could be a girl!”

Opportunity.

“What’s a girl?”

“It’s not a boy.”

“How? Do they have odd bits?”

Coughs. Nervous shifts. Wild gesticulations that made no sense whatsoever, and rude gestures in Iglishmek that Ori would have to remember for home. Nori was about to leap onto another rooftop; he was silent and swift and dressed like a fucking _rainbow_. One would have thought he was joining a circus, the way he prepared for his First Heist. So long as no one looked up, the daft idiot would have a chance.

Ori made a show to grasp the end of the harness in his hands, nervously knotting them between his fingers.

“Hullo, what do we have here? A harness? You must be Dori’s lad!”

Ori hastily took the end of the harness from the guard’s hand and knotted in his own nervously. “Yessum...”

The guards let out a raucous laugh at an inappropriate comment about sheaths and swords, fists and toungues, anvils and hammers, hot iron rods and soft salted meats. Ori ignored the raunchy jokes. He was too busy silently staring at his brother in panic, heart beating to his throat when a window pane flew out of the side of the building, landing on the soft side of a tree without shattering, when Nori stepped on his kite-dress and fell two stories before grabbing a line of rope, when other Initiates nearly _dropped Nori and their bounty into one of the Forges_.

The guards were nearly doubled over in their own little world. Distracted was good. Distracted while mentally picturing his brother unclothed was not. Ori let out the meekest cough he could muster - and it was veritably pathetic - and gave them his widest smile.

“What’s fisting?”

There. _Perfect._

\-------------###-------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanted wee!Ori to say "what's fisting?". really, that was my plan. and it was going to be the title, if i could get away with it ;)  
> i know it's not "sweet and innocent and naive and oblivious ori", but i can't do that. it's inconsistent with their backstory in my head.  
> if you have requests, i'll try and see what i can do..  
> also, try writing Double Lives while watching 2 Broke Girls. really. it's impossible.


	14. Manners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dori is adamant that Ori has manners, in _all_ situations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i need to say this.  
> dwarf (singular) --> dwarrows (plural). OR  
> dwarf (singular) --> dwarfs (plural)  
> like ox and oxen, or octopus and octopode (not _octopi)_.  
>  i'm a grammar bitch, so suck it.

\-------------###-------------

Ori was excited.

This was his first day with Dori at his work, and he was really excited. He’d only watched from the shadows before. Yes, he was still underaged, on the fringes of adolescence, but really, the alternative was Ori stalking him in the dark and open to predators, so might as well.

Nori scaled the walls and ran across the rooftops, pursuing a dwarf of interest. Dori followed them through the alleyways, Ori ran off in the opposite direction, intending to cut them off from another way. He arrived there first, at the fringes of the forest, triggering the trap hidden in the leaves and roots.

The pursued dwarf rounded the corner, only just saw him and the cage when he slipped and skidded across the wet autumn ground and landed face-first against the bars. Ori caught him by the front of his tunic just before he smashed his face against the metal.

Dori was on all fours, not used to running around like a rabbit. Nori approached the cage with a grim face.

“This lock is a complicated one. I’ve only just started learning it, it’ll take me an hour or so...” 

Ori widened his eyes. In an hour, there was an eating contest at the Pickled Hedgehog, and he had a title to uphold. He jerked his hands towards his chest, bashing the other’s face against the prison, squeezing his breath out with one movement.

“Give me the keys!”

“Ori!” Dori scolded, scandalised.

Ori loosened his grip, chastised. Right. Oops.

The bruised face was bruised some more, nose this time making contact with the steel of the bar and spurting blood in all directions. Ori tightened his fists, muscles bulging, eyes promising painful slow death.

 _“Please_ give me the keys.”

\-------------###-------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/43897919466/the-brothers-ri-chapter-14-manners-crackfic-ori-is


	15. Avian Flu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori sings a lullaby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liberally borrowed and edited Tim Minchin's Lullaby ( [found here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESFANzZTdYM) if you want), used wikipedia's page on Middle-Earth's animals and an online elvish generator site to translate 'my beloved child' into elvish.  
> take your canvas bags, take you canvas bags...♪♫

 

\-------------###-------------

The Company was saddled with a child.

Or rather, during their visit in a farmer’s village, they found a child wandering, lost, following them. An infant practically.

Thorin was determined to leave the child at the nearest building to be cared for by its own kind, and fetched by its parents. _Determined_ was too subtle; relentless by Royal Decree, perhaps, was more suitable.

Dori was determined not to leave the child in a pipeweed den with unsavoury characters. Again, _determined_ was an understatement; having flashbacks only Nori knew of and understood of smoke and ash and finding a bleeding wanderling almost crushed by ponies while looking for shelter, rage bubbling from deep within the gut and the ground shaking with his voice, perhaps, was more apt a description.

Thorin _gracefully_ gave in. They found a tavern, as child friendly as could be, and Nori bounced the babe on his knee while Ori sketched its face on several scraps. Nori gave his charge to the Prince Nephews, waited for Dori to return with the food before taking the sketches and going out. Between the two of them, its parents would be found relatively quickly.

That, again, could be rephrased with _‘may take a few hours, possibly until sundown, don’t drink or fight or gamble in front of the child - yes, that means stay mind-numbingly sober and have no fun.’_

It was an entertaining scene. The Prince Nephews, self-proclaimed child experts, had no idea what they were doing. Alcohol as unnecessary; these two with an infant were enough. Thorin in particular was enjoying this to the fullest; the Destinies smiled upon him tonight, he was _finally getting even with those two little shits._

“Oh no. Oh no. It’s crying what do we do?”

“It already ate, it already drank, we _changed_ it three times!”

“Oh Spirits above, Uncle! Help!”

“She needs sleep.”

“... and?”

“Sing.”

_“Far over...”_

Thwack. “Not that. Something a child would enjoy.”

“Maybe Ori knows a song? He reads!”

“I haven’t read any lullabies, but Dori and Nori used to sing to me...”

“There ya go!” Dwalin took the weeping child from Kili and put it in Ori’s arms, and it instantly calmed down. “Problem solved! She’s almost sleeping, boy, start already.”

“Alright...” Ori shifted, securing the babe in his arms. “I think I can do it... at her age, they respond to the tone of voice, not the vocabulary, so I might be able to help...” She was comfortable, and he cooed.

_“Sleep little baby, sleep now my love, the stars twinkle and shine high up above, when you get lost, they will bring you home safe, so close your eyes... Your blanket cozy and soft, your home safe and sound, your belly full and warm -”_

Fili leant back to Kili’s shoulder, dozing off with the tune.

_“- of enough laudanum to chill out **Crebain** , yet still all this whinging...”_

Wait, what?

_“What more can I do to put a stop to this mind-numbing noise you are making... Where is the line between patting and hitting... when is rocking ‘rocking’, and when is it ‘shaking’...”_

The baby cooed softly, snuggling into Ori’s chest, his voice and rocking motions unrelentingly gentle. Bofur inhaled fro his pipe deeply, turning purple from over-inflated lungs and too much pipeweed at once. Others didn’t have the benefit of distracting herbs.

 _”I don’t know what else I can do to try and hush you, my heart says I love you, but my brain’s thinking_ ‘Fuck you’ _, I’m hoping an orc would sneak in and scatter you, at least then I’ll get a few hours of rest... I’ve shush-ed, and I’ve cooed, and I even tried to sing_ ‘Amin liyalai hin’ _in the exact voice of Arwen, but all I have left is to hope that a Goblin would sneak in and rip off your fat bitching head...”_

Eyes wide with a deep, innate fear for the Unkown, Thorin edged carefully and slowly to his nephews and held them close, they hugged him back. Dwalin sought comfort with his big brother, Gloin with Oin, Bifur held onto Bombur and Bofur, Bilbo to Gandalf. Ori cradled the child to his shoulder, with care and loving affection.

_“Oh hush little baby, don’t say a word... Mam’s gonna buy you a Kirinki in the hope you get avian flu...”_

A sudden burst of cheers sliced through the tormenting dread at the dwarfs’ table like hot iron in ice-cold water. Tearful parents forced themselves quiet and took their offspring, careful not to wake her.

“What’s wrong with them? Nori asked, perplexed.

Ori shook his head. “ _Honestly_ , if you lot think that’s bad, you should hear what Dori sang to me."

_Oh Mahal above, _please NO.__

_\-------------###-------------_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [on tumblr](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/44005344017/the-brothers-ri-chapter-15-avian-flu)


	16. Negligible Snags

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heist failed. They're stuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/44072886953/the-brothers-ri-chapter-16-negligibl-snags

\-------------###-------------

“You broke the wall.”

“I didn’t break the wall.”

“You _broke_ it, the state of it, and we don’t have the resources to cover this up!”

“We don’t need to cover this up. We just need to leave before we’re caught.”

 _“Our_ footprints, fragments of _our_ clothes, available in this quality from _our_ home, witnesses knowing _our_ faces, and you don’t think we need to cover this up?!”

“We’ll be fine! You’ll do your magic eye-thing that get them all fluttery, certain promises about certain states of mortality towards certain people, and ta-dah! Problem solved!”

 _"There’s a giant hole in the wall from an explosion with a town three miles east from these caves,_ there is no _time_ to ‘ta-dah’ all of them at once!”

“You know, this is _typical -”_

_“TYPICAL?!”_

“ - one measly negligible snag and you _crumble under the pressure!”_

“There is a _ten foot chasm in the side of this cave!_ That’s hardly _negligible!”_

“Oh _please,_ it’s just a hairline fracture at most!”

“With earthquakes and echos and crumbling ceilings, that sort of hairline fracture?! If this is a hairline fracture, the Arkenstone is _insect repellant!”_

“Give Ori any old rock, he’ll hit a flying target with his slingshot from any distance.”

“Don’t you get smart with me young dwarf, and leave O-”

They skidded to a halt, interrupting their escape; a dusty hand smacked him on his mouth, covering his angry words.

“Do you hear that...?”

Dull thuds and shouts penetrated deep into the tunnels.

“The mob. We have to get out of here.”

“There are other exits, deep into the mines. If we leave now, we can reach the South tunnels before the tide.”

Time no longer in their favour, they headed deeper into the pits of the abandoned mines.

“Are you _sure_ you know where we’re headed?”

“Yes I read the maps!”

“You read the maps?! _All of them?!”_

“Yes all of them!”

“Thirty maps of century old mines, over the space of two weeks, and you expect me to believe that you _know them all by heart?!”_

“ **Yes!** Information is my business, my business is fatal, ergo I have a vested interest in knowing my business down to the last detail!”

“We’re on the edge of a cliff! In a cave! With falling ceiling rocks and a pitchforked mob! Forgive me if doubts are raised as I breathe my last breath while waiting a painful death in the company of an _utter pain!”_

_“SHUT YOUR TRAP AND JUMP!”_

\-------------###-------------


	17. Daffodils

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur never should have taken this job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter. Double Lives 5 Legolas and Gimli is taking its toll...  
> for charliebravowhiskey, who wanted more horticulturalist!nori. he's sort of horticulturalistic here?

\-------------###-------------

Bofur had Nori’s fingers around his neck.

To be rephrased: Nori choked a square-hatted dwarf when he caught him defacing his precious garden and scattering small delicate petals and thick robust stems and rubbery leaves like flour on a baker’s floor.

Or innards on a butcher’s wall.

Months spent on gather seeds from lands far away. Mountains scaled with bare hands, scorching deserts traversed with but a sheet to protect from the sun and half a skin of water, the deepest cavern scoured with nothing but the acoustic and olfactory senses to be guided with. The most fragile of flowers, the most delicate of roots, the most tenacious of leaves, the rarest of living creatures, all balanced on the delicate line that was lack of natural habitat, carefully balanced in his backyard and their individual rooms.

Scattered.

Like a moulting chicken’s feathers.

Like a shedding hound’s hairs.

Like the blood of the Orcs at the Battle of Azanulbizar.

Faint squeaks emanated from the culprit’s gullet. Nori, not letting go for all the gold of Erebor - alright, maybe half, but what were the chances? - deciphered some of the indignant squawks as words.

Hmm.

Something something job opportunity. Something something babysitter. Something something pickaxe. Something something little fucker buried it in the garden.

Well. Dori finally found a minder worth keeping, if this one still could get enough air to talk with Nori’s grip.

Tough.

His babies needed avenging.

\-------------###-------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/44544421385/the-brothers-ri-chapter-17-daffodils
> 
> and while you're at it, greenkangaroo's Dirty Deeds. an amalgamation of splen-shattering good stuff. (especially the one with the tattoo ♥ but maybe i'm just biased ♥)


	18. The Tempestuous Passions of Nelwynn and Dwrr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori writes erotica for a living. Nori's a big fan. And then he finds out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/44730640578/the-brothers-ri-chapter-18-chapter-18-the

\-------------###-------------

Ori was the youngest. He was the baby. They found him when his beard was softer than down. They changed his nappies and had him cave-trained. They taught him how to hold a spoon, how to chew properly, how to burp properly without swallowing air. They raised and held and fought with and loved him through his tantrums and tears and whinging and nightmares. they clothed him in durable knits, self-made knits, cold-protecting knits, when they couldn’t house him properly.

He was their baby.

He was Nori’s baby.

He most certainly was _not_ the bloody author of bloody erotic novels bastardising the bloody nobility with pseudonyms and raunchy stories, he wasn’t!

But he was. Nori held his head in his hands, he was, and it was obvious from the start! The handwriting, the flowery poetry, the **names** , the (very, very absent) plot! His most guilty pleasure and greatest addiction, all a filthy, filthy fantasy with horrible, terrible kitsch, from the hand of his itty bitty Ori...

But it was. It was true. Naivety was not a virtue in their world, nor did it become him. Nori was determined, his Ori had been exposed to vile subjects! Oh, he would strangle Bofur and wring the breath of life out of his lungs if it didn’t usually lead to other... activities.

Also, their was this ‘debt’ thing about feeding Ori his greens when he was little that somehow included pickaxes and a sarcophagus, but that was hardly of import.

And it all could have been avoided. All of it. if h hadn’t spent his last copper bits on _The Tempestuous Passions of Nelwynn and Dwrr: Brazen Jealousies_ , where Urma came back to vye for Nelwynn’s affections, a tumultuous pair that have lived in the rubble of society, fighting for survival and overcoming any hurdle in their love for each other, having survived his fatal injury in the Orient, ready to face his rival Dwrr, nobleman and scarred by a mischeivous youth - _and oh my god, Nori, you spent our last coppers on that? You could have just asked me, then you’d have a bound copy and we’d have a proper dinner!_

Ori clapped his hands in front of his mouth, realising what he said. Nori’s eyes narrowed, and he began interrogating the younger dwarf, resolutely ignoring the humiliation of being caught by your little brother reading steamy porn. Your little brother the author of previsouly mentioned steamy porn.

What do you mean exactly, I would have a bound copy?

Well, uhm... y’know, all scribes know each other and I could hook you up?

Nori lost his shit.

Dori, just about to unlock the front door, could hear the increasingly disbelieving angry shouts. Upon entering, his ears were assaulted with __“You’re too young!”_ _ and __“Who taught you this?!”_ _ and __“Who touched you?! I will **skin** them!”_ _ His face was assulted with some flying paper.

Ah. _Those things._ Nori really ought to spend his money elsewhere. Or more discreetly. Nori reached over and ripped the pieces of paper from his fingers.

“What is the problem? Did Nelwynn lay an egg?”

“HE! He! Ori!” Nori turned purple. Matched his tunic, Dori thought offhandedly. “Don’t get me started on dwarfling eggs, Dori! He just told me he’s authored those bloomin’ things!”

“Ori, is this true?”

“I didn’t tell him, he just guessed...”

“Ori...”

“And I didn’t confirm anything! Dori, I told you I was being published! And we got some good money for rent and wool threads and stuff -”

“Give it here.”

“- and you can focus your ‘cooking’ experiments on the hostages and - what? No!”

“The manuscript in your bag, give it here. Now.”

Before Ori could utter another weak protest, Nori swooped down and handed Dori the manuscript. The eldest took it, face dour, opened it and started reading.

“This is awful.”

Nori nodded.

“Absolutely terrible.”

Nori touched Ori on the shoulder, a comforting if slightly victorious gesture.

“That position is physically impossible.”

Wait, what?

“Give me the quill, you two, this needs correcting. It’s a good thing you brought this to my attention, I can’t allow Ori to go forth into the world with these surreal and horribly impossible ideas, you might hurt someone, boy! Or yourself!. Here, try this, trust me, with enough stretching, this works.”

“Dori!”

“I cannot let this go! The grammar is appalling! Besides, now you can stop wasting your money on those silly stories and read the manuscripts instead.”

… Well, if put that way. He still could skin anyone who came to close to his baby, though...

\-------------###-------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, after three weeks, i got a scenario for Double Lives 5; Gimli/Legolas/Adam. They're guildies. with costumes. and sex.  
> ♥  
> that said, i'm working on something new. i will share it with you as a prompt:  
> Ricest.


	19. Come Hither

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dori found out about Ori sooner. much, much sooner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/44772654574/the-brothers-ri-chapter-19-come-here

\------------###-------------

Nori reeled between fury, confusion, curiosity,and that deep itching need to get something right now, but in his disheveled state, he couldn’t remember the word.

Confusion, because he couldn’t understand how Dori didn’t raise Hel at Ori’s passtimes. He once unearthed half a town when Ori got lost and came home late. Five minutes late.

Curiosity, because how could somedwarf who wrapped his brother so deep and tight in knits that you could push him off a mountain, and he’d walk away with a spell of dizziness, not want to wrap the space between his ears with twice as much woolens?

That deep, sweltering, itching need to know what Urma was hiding under his sleeve, and if Dwrr would cough up to his deception, and if Nerwynn was indeed with egg, And Ori wouldn’t let him near his manuscript, that twat.

And Fury, because really, _someone_ put _those ideas_ in _Ori’s head!_ And that someone wasn’t even the proper sort! Or at least, it wasn’t likely!

Nori set his mind to distraction and scaled the walls of the palace. There was a moat, with enormous, scaly toothy things, hounds the size of the average dwarf - and the speed of the above-average dwarf, and the aggression of the average dwarf, and the love for rough tumble of the average dwarf, the sweeties. There were spikes coming out of the ceilings - and walls, and floors, and corners, pressure-sensitive too, clever bastards. There were flames lining these walls and ceilings and floors too.

Yes. This will do nicely as a distraction.

If Nori hadn’t been falling head-first into a fiery pit, he would have remembered an incident three years prior, when Dori put in an application to the Guards.

An application that was sped up because there was a long-standing interest in his negotiation skills - kind words, kind fists, kind mothering, kind blackmail - by the word of Fundinson. Dori then proceeded to beat the ever loving crap out of the ranking officers, and redacted his application because _sorry, this really isn’t for me, I’m much too delicate for this sort of roughhousing._

Of course, no one protested. Neither would they move when Dori gestured for the Fundinsons to follow him with two fingers, nor when, a good while later, one of them gave a shout in pain.

“Stand down, Dwalin, I’m not going to hurt your brother. Balin, I would like to bring to light a matter. Ori seems to have started writing some... _intricate special interest_ literature. Ori caught _your brother_ pants down with _my brother_ , and I demand you take responsibility. Normally, the culprit would be the one to make reparations, but your brother’s ab utter simpleton when he sees skin.”

“Say that again to my face.” Dwalin rose to his full height,

Unimpressed, Dori loosened his collar.

“What begins with ‘come here’, and ends with ‘ow’?”

“Hm what?”

“Come here.”

When Dwalin’s consciousness returned, the wall was made of dusty, muddy gravel, moving like waves on a coast, and he heard the echoing breathless laughter of Balin invading his senses.

\------------###-------------


	20. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We need Bofur. Srsly tho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/44876372613/the-brothers-ri-chapter-20-silence  
> and thank you greenkangaroo for your awesome comment. without you, this chapter wouldn't exist.

\-------------###-------------

“Nori.”

“...”

_“Nori.”_

_“...”_

“Let him go. You _need_ him.”

“...”

“Young mister Bofur is kind enough to mind Ori while we’re away. Young mister Bofur finds Ori’s attempts of murder with wool and pungent foodstuff amusing beyond compare. Young mister Bofur also _found a way for Ori to eat his greens without him noticing._ Therefore we need young mister Bofur alive. And to be alive, _he needs air.”_

“...”

“Fine. Alright. Have it your way. You can play with him all you want for the moment. I won’t stop you. You’ll have to put him down eventually.”

\-------------###-------------


	21. Bad Life Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori makes some bad life choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/45128784100/the-brothers-ri-chapter-21-bad-life-choices

\-------------###-------------

“Gandalf’s coming to the quest, did you know?”

_Yes, actually, you’ve been mentioning this for days._

“A quest to _kill a dragon!”_

_So you’ve said._

“How brave of him!”

 _I scaled a mountain with bare fingers and tumbled into a fiery pit and survived without a scratch. For an egg carved into mithril and laden with wooden jewels. You called me a_ potato with the attention span of a shoe and the intelligence of cold wax, _I belive._

“He’s sp _tall!”_

_Here we go again..._

“And well-traveled! He’s been all over the world! And he knows so much!”

_And still can’t remember where he put his first hat._

“And his beard!”

_Whimsical and sad at the very best of days. Want a good beard? Gloin. Now there’s a beard I could fuck with glee._

“And he’d come personally to Ered Luin to seek out the king. _We were in the same area and I missed him!”_

_Yes. You know what also happened? I got laid, and you took down a rival Family. And two gambling units, raising the buildings from their fundaments, “sulking”._

“And, _oh his **staff**!_ How mighty it was!”

Nori smacked himself on the face, and interrupted his swooning brother before his bleeding ears turned black with infection.

“Ya know... He’s just an old man who’s too friendly with Elfs and has too much love for hallucinogens, ye?”

As Nori lay there, on the ground, mourning the high probabilistically permanent loss of his reproductive organs, contemplating certain choices in life that didn’t go well and trying to determine which of the two chairs before him was the real one and the reason for carpeting on the wall, he concluded that disagreeing with Dori on all matters Gandalf was not advisable.

\-------------###-------------


	22. Unholy Creations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember how Nori joked about Doti's cooking? it wasn't a joke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on tumblr:  
> http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/45206694206/the-brothers-ri-chapter-22-unholy-creations

\-------------###-------------

Screams. Screams, desperate and vulnerable, emanating from a home. There was a struggle. Smattering of fragile objects, a dull thud, and an explosion, caused both by the forceful kick that splintered the front door, as well as the sudden rush of oxygen in a dwelling laid aflame.

Ori had Dori slumped over his back, covered in soot and the green remains of casualties of war. He dragged his delirious brother a safe distance from the inferno, equally affected by the smoke in his lungs. He looked over his shoulder, staring at their home being burnt asunder, and all he could do was wait.

Nori arrived no more than an hour later, fear colouring his fair features, his entire frame shook with worry. A swift kick to the side, and Dori joined the land of the conscious. His face fell when he saw the house, nothing but glowing embers among soot and charcoal now.

“You were at it again, weren’t you. What was it this time? Peas? Spinach? Apples?”

Under Nori’s scrutinous gaze and hurried questions, Ori just picked at the green remains on his tunic.

“It was a roast.”

Nori paused, looking closer at the littler brother’s tunic, then at Dori, then back at Ori.

“This floral coloured gelatinous substance?” At Ori’s nod, Nori just rubbed his face. “That’s... not actually the worst thing he’s done with a roast... and the fire?”

“You’ll have to ask him.”

“Well then, Mother Dori, fess up.”

“No.”

“Our house was burnt to the ground. It was made of rock, and two stories high. And it was _burnt. To the Ground.”_

“I was attacked.”

“By an oliphaunt that sprouted acid from its trunk?”

A loud popping sound came from the cinders. A whistling sound that they couldn’t place was hurdling both towards and away from them, a complicated sound. Just as they made out an intact stove among charred remains of _rock,_ the earth between them was dented by an unidentified falling object.

“By _that.”_

“What is it?”

“It’s a cabbage.”

_“It’s got **legs**!”_

“It didn’t when I bought it at the market!”

 _“How_ did you make a _cabbage sprout legs_ with the meagre utensils we own?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t looking.”

_“How could you not have been looking?!”_

“Dori was about to get out his war hammer on a leg of lamb!”

Nori’s knees buckled. He was exhausted, and his spine didn’t have the strength to keep him upright. _So_ many problems would be solved if someone would just _deliver food_ house to house. Ori took a stick and _made sure the cabbage was cabbage once more_ , and Nori needed a lie down. Dori had no business looking so offended.

“A war hammer... really?”

“It was _struggling.”_

“It was _dead.”_

\-------------###-------------


	23. Rigged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never trust those who can take a beating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy monday morning.

on [tumblr](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/45666401010/the-brothers-ri-chapter-23-rigged)

Never trust those who can take a beating. Those who can stand through the blows, who would balk under a direct hit only to stand straight shortly afterwards, who shrugged the pain off with endurance and determination.

Dull thuds echoed, shaking the ground and the caves and the beams holding the earth upright. Rhythmic thudding, chanting, shouting, screaming, ecstatic and tortured, the rattling of metal against metal, the clattering of bodies against metal, the crunching of bones against metal.

The fighters were sat at the entrance of the Pit, waiting for the bars to lift and let them in.

“Are. You. _Ready?!”_

An answering shout. More drumming. More thudding. More splattering of liquids on walls and floors and metal.

A shout for blood. For violence. For kicking and screaming and the struggle for final breath.

_“Do you want **blood**?!”_

Another roar, deep from the belly.

Introducing Dwarves to the underground fights was possibly the best idea Gudrn had ever had. While she enjoyed seeing the lesser of her own kind pay their dues to society and being useful for once, dying for her entertainment, Men had a tendency to fall easily. She curled his lips in disgust. Pathetic, she was almost embarrassed to be part of a species so easily broken, so _pathetic._

_“How much do you want it?!”_

Hysterical audience. The best kind, mind so focused on entertainment, the value of money just flushed out of their senses. If they had any.

Gudrn loved Dwarves. She loved their strength, their nigh-impenetrable skin, their ability to handle an eclectic number of weapons. She loved their Pride, how they swallowed It down as they realised how little value they had, and that humility extended to their little ones. She loved their dedication, how much work and heart they put in their works, how their hearts broke when they see how a chalice once worth fourteen gold coins sold for but three copper bits. She loved how much it took for a Dwarf to bruise and bleed and cry, how _long_ it took for them to succumb to pain, how much longer they could last before their minds escaped reality.

She loved their goldlust. There was a kinship here, between Men and Dwarves, in the darkness of greed, though the nature of the greed was quite different. Dwarves loved riches for riches’ sake, would hoard whatever they could grab and watch over them until they themselves returned to the Stone. Men breathed the greed of those short-lived. Hauntingly aware of the finite nature of their existence and power, they sought to own everything and anything immediately and at all costs, plunder and consume everything and at the same time, make it last until they die.

“I can’t _hear you! **How much do you want blood?!** ”_

Hands grabbed and shook the bars overhead, adding to the vibration of the entire scaffold, already swaying under their shouts and screams and erratic bodies. She leant away from the balcony and towards her diminutive guest, pouring him - her? We’ll see later - some more wine. What she loved most was a Dwarf who revelled in these games as much as she did; another creature so cruel, gleeful in the pain of his Own and sharing in the _delight_. In this Dwarf, she hoped to find a kin soul as well as a bed partner. Red hair was her favourite.

Gudrn rang the gong, only fueling the loud noise to become louder, and louder, and louder with every hit, the gates of the arena rise, and out came her Dwarfs. Her dogs. Her meat. The crowd began shouting, names of their favourites and bets and curses and threats.

“Brel!” Odds 13:1, getting old. Female. Sponsor had a liking for her young, if she wanted them alive, she’d have to _win._ She entered the arena, one eye blind and covered in burns.

The audience grew louder and wilder, shaking at the chance to win big. Adorable.

“Merben!” Odds 5:1, popular with the ladies. Sponsor only needed him to perform; so long as his face or crotch wasn’t hit he would fetch a good price, and come back again with more whipmarks.

“Brahat!” Odds 8:1, new, young, fresh from the streets. One among a dozen newcomers, sweet enough face to be mentioned. Wasn’t going to last ten minutes. Didn’t have to.

Finally, her own champion entered, slow and deliberate. He removed his tunic and tucked into a corner, revealing for all to see burns and slices and scarred drawings of her own hand. Gudrn smirked at her company and his hitched breath. A favourite among the gamblers, because though he was strong enough to win, he didn’t often. Silly little amateurs. Gudrn didn’t have him to _win,_ she had him to _last._

The fighters strutted and preened and shouted, pumping adrenaline into their own veins as well as the audience. Her champion walked, eyes careful on the competition, and then cast his gaze to the balcony. Gudrn lifted her hand to her shoulder, a movement as though she removed some wayward string, tapping her shoulder with three fingers, twice. _Three hours, bare handed, twenty percent payment._

He nodded, and returned his attention to the maniacal atmosphere, contributing some anger of his own.

“Dori!” Odds 53:1, strong enough to break a wall and patient enough to make a fight worth while. Didn’t react to injuries like the others did.

The answering cheer was deafening. The lights shrank and concentrated to points, highlighting the contours of their bodies. Bars were shook and the stomping and the roars penetrated deep into the fundament.

Never trust those who can take a beating. You never know if the game is rigged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case it's not clear: Gudrn is a human woman who runs the fights. these are illegal. dori has been doing this for some time now. nori is the myterious ginger dwarf, and i'm thinking undercover for some scam he's pulling with some friends.  
> yeah, pre-crime family, every one's still on their own.  
> see what i'm doing here? some funny stuff, and then i see how far i can take it and break your heart.  
> (GK is the master)


	24. Boats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dori, son of Sor, daughter of Drwrri, son of Vashri, related to Durin’s line in ways best not alluded to, true to the family’s ways, only ever played the nobility’s games when the cards were stacked in his favour. Unlike Nori, he had the patience for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am well aware of how much the last chapter sucked. But it's there.  
> EDIT: i re-read it, and it sounds like a lecture. it isn't.

on [tumblr](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/46693946343/the-brothers-ri-chapter-24-boats)

 

_“Where have you been?”_

_“Drinking. Why? Is my overly cheerful demeanor considering our circumstances too subtle an indication thereof?”_

_Dori decided to be the better dwarf and not be baited. “”I have nothing wrong with your activities, just beware the company you keep.”_

_“Company? Why, dear brother, do I feel an undertone of judgement on your part against my friends?”_

_“They are the bad sort -”_

_“Bad sort?_ Bad _sort? Eighteen hours we spend together, bleeding and sweating and starving, walking six miles up in searing heat and biting cold, all year ‘round. walking eight miles down a narrow slippery pathway with two hundred pounds of rock on our backs, held together wth a pathetic skin-slicing string, all for a few **honest coppers** an hour? That bad sort?”_

_“ -they cheat, they steal -”_

_“They work themselves to the bone, let us have a drink -”_

_**“They beat ten innocent people to death for fun in the last week alone!”** _

“Innocent?! _They were rich, greedy bastards who wouldn’t pay our wages, those fucking nobles -”_

_“We. **Are.** Nobles!”_

_“Then how the hell do you justify this life we have? What sort of excuses have your friends been feeding you?”_

_“I can’t just ask them for money, that’s not how our class works. It would be too forward, they have to offer it -”_

_“- and while you_ wait _for the **kindness of their hearts** to rear their gaze in your direction, we’re both almost dying from exhaustion and leaving Ori two brothers short and _open to predation!”

_“I am doing **everything** I can to keep him alive!”_

_“This isn’t life, it’s simply_ not dying!”

 _“Well I have news for you, to_ live _you have to_ not be dead! _A state of existence I am trying to keep us in! There is no point in losing your mind to fantasy when reality is tearing your body apart -”_

But Nori was right. Nori was right, and Dori needed to hear it, as often as possible, just as much as Nori needed Dori to refute all of his words and force him out of the pit of desperation. That didn’t mean he had to keep the grimace off his face when he met nobility.

Word came out that a dwarfling lived in the slums. In response, her Majesty Dis came down with an escort and asked Dori if he would like the boy to stay with her and her two sons for a few days, ‘to socialise, dwarflings are young and far too few’.

It was not a request.

Nori was about to release Ori from his arms when Dori spoke. Ori goes nowhere without his brothers. In the olden days, families were scammed and conned, ruined in reputation and finance, massacred and maimed for the precious rarity. A people as solid as stone in their traditions, who still insisted that, was hardly going to change in that matter either.

That was also not a request.

Dori, son of Sor, daughter of Drwrri, son of Vashri, related to Durin’s line in ways best not alluded to, true to the family’s ways, only ever played the nobility’s games when the cards were stacked in his favour. Unlike Nori, he had the patience for it.

Ori might have the knack for it too.

When they arrived at her Majesty’s domicile, Nori was seething. Flowers, clean grains, solid walls, fresh fruits, clean water, carpeting, clean meat, curtains, fresh bread, whole furniture, real food. Nori feels almost embarrassed about his obsession with food.

Almost.

When your entire reason for existence revolves around eating to not die, working to afford food, eating to have the strength to work, counting every last copper bit you own, endlessly calculating how much what costs when, which grains are more nutritious and have a better yield, if warm clothes over the winter is worth not eating properly for a few months, weighing the pros and cons of ignoring doctor’s orders purely on financial logic, trying not to succumg to hunger-based irrational rage towards everything, it becomes difficult to remember what a ‘life’ really is.

Her Highness lead them to a living room _\- an entire room dedicated for sitting -_ , Dori and Nori sat opposite her.

“Would you like some tea?”

Ori stood up. “I will make you some. Where is the river?”

Dis laughed merrily, but stopped quite quickly.

“Ori dear, that’s not how they do it here.”

Ori threw Dori a look of confusion - _how useful can you be if you don’t know where the river is?_ \- and sat back down

The Princess accepted the cup handed to her, and dismissed the help with a wave of her hand.

“My apologies, we are alone today. My brother, Thorin son of Thrain, is out working at the forges. My nephews are with a family friend, sleeping over. Still -” she turned a kindly smile to Ori. “- you can stay and play, if you want.”

None of the brothers moved until Dori nodded, just barely; he was right, they were nobility, he always did his best that Nori and Ori learned the way of things. Ori made his way the scattered toys, turning the oddly-coloured objects with a frown on his face. Nori stayed silent and drank his tea. Far too rich, he was going to be sick.

“Tell me, little one, what is your name?”

“My name is Ori, brother to Nori and Dori, your Highness.”

“Just brother? Wouldn’t you like a father, or a mother?”

“I already have parents, your Highness.” The red thing was just weird.

Dis tilted her head. “How about you life? You live on the surface. I’ve only ever lived in the heart of mountains myself, is it nice?”

“There was a flood last month, your Highness.” The water flow wasn’t too strong, but the mud left behind was a nightmare.

“Oh dear. I hear that is a common hazard, were you prepared?”

“We had a boat, your Highness.” One of ten in the entire district, for transporting goods. Food, blankets, clean water. Dwarves didn’t swim often, but they had hands and could hold on.

“All is right, then.”

“We _had_ a boat.” The wood was weathered down and full of holes. In pieces, it did well as a raft.

Dis offered Ori some sweets; Nori wanted to protest, but etiquette forbade it. A few bites, and Ori held his stomach and moaned in pain.

“Is he alright?!”

Dori stood and bowed while Nori gathered the littlest dwarf in his arms. “Apologies, you Highness, the food is far richer than we are used to. I am afraid we will have to leave.”

“I can just call the healer -”

“- and I am afraid I must ask for compensation. This visit has cost me and my brother our pay. Today and the next seven, if we are to stay at home to care for him.”

Cowed, but with dignity, Dis nodded. “How much will you need?”

Dori answered, head held high and eyes in contact with hers. Had it been Nori, he would have just left rather than answer, and be faced with the disdain of fellow nobledwarves.

“Is that it? That is how little you value your brother’s life? How will you buy ointments?”

“That is how much we are worth to our employers, you Highness. I dare not ask for more.”

Nori waited until they reached their house to confront his older brother. The confrontation entailed two raised eyebrows and a questioning huff.

 _“That_ is how you ask for help.”

 

 

***

credit where credit is due:

the nobility schtick as always on plan, but wonderful author [thorinspalusparenting](../../../../users/thorinsaplusparenting/pseuds/thorinsaplusparenting) and their [Not In Gold](../../../723740?view_full_work=true) helped a lot with the birthing process. ♥

also, Dis isn't being a bitch. not on purpose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as to the quality of the writing... been reading some stuff on FFn, which will impede - and has impeded- on the quality for a while. on the writing. thing.  
> also, i discovered that there is some kocoum/thomas fics out here. one of my first otps. ♥ i'm trying to compartimetnalise, focus on the 3 parter ricest, but oh, K/T... *paws at screen* why so few...  
> also, JACK SPICER EVIL BOY GENIUS i can't wait for xiaolin chronicles. only the showdows will be in 3d, and the fans have no one to blame but themselves. when i commented on facebook, they were kind enough to answer, which shows that they would have been willing to change if we, you know, asked much much sooner.


	25. Trade Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things had best remained secret.

on[ tumblr](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/46744262883/the-brothers-ri-chapter-25-trade-secrets)

 

“I’ll give him a taste of dwarfish iron right up his jacksie!”

“What are you - sit _down_ and keep your mouth shut!” Dori hissed, grabbed his hand and tugged him back down on his chair.

Ori frowned, somehow making his wide eyes look bigger, looking emotionally _assaulted_ and quite vulnerable.

Nori’s eyes crinkled with mirth, beard and pipe properly hiding a wide smile and a small coo.

 _“But I **can**!” _ Ori protested, small voice lost in the deep baritone of older and bigger beings.

And that was the problem. So far, _Ori can kill a dragon_ was just a hypothesis. Then again, so were _Ori can uproot trees_ and _Ori can throw a horse (provided he could pick it up without falling over)_ and _Ori can concuss Dwalin with his own head and survive without a single fracture_ , until empirical evidence proved otherwise.

Dori sighed and patted his hand -

“I know, but _they_ don’t need to know _that.”_

-and shot the giggling Nori a warning look. _Don’t encourage him!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my, two chapters in two days! I am feeling prolific.  
> again, sorry for chapter 23. in my defense, i was trolling ffn and lost half my vocabulary and syntax...


	26. Of Geese and Close Helms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dori felt so dirty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because even the sweetest children have their moments...

_When Nori was away, Dori would be responsible for Ori._

**When Dori was away, Nori would resort to the C.S.T.**

_Ori was fussy in the mornings, impossible to wake up. Dori would wake early, prepare breakfast and proceed to poke and prod and bribe the boy awake._

**Nori never could sleep the nights Dori left. He’d be awake until his eyes grew heavy with paranoid exhaustion, jerking himself awake when he noticed.**

_Sometimes, Dori would pry the fingers off the sheets or headboard - or bed post or door frame or carpets - and have to physically drag the listless body to his place at the table._

**Nori would then wake up in utter terror, screaming and kicking and usually soaking wet and freezing, and launch himself off the mattress to find his weapons missing, and his limbs tied to the sheets in such a manner that he performed acrobatics. And not the kind he was able to perform.**

_There was a **thing** attached to the chair, a manner of restraint that Dori invented to keep Ori from drowning in his porridge. Each end of the rope was tied around the handles of the chair, leaving the forehead to droop and support itself with the weight of the head. It looked ridiculous, but Ori wasn’t inhaling grains, milk or honey. Ingenius._

**Nori ran after the Little Monster into the kitchen and wrestled it into its seat with a great deal more effort than it took to con a dwarf out of house and gold. Every time he thought he had the imp pinned to the chair it would wriggle out and escape to freedom. Nori resisted the urge to use the stupid rope; Ori had forehead-burns (hidden cleverly by awful hair) and it was stupid.**

_Bathing was a nightmare. Dori would have to install contraption here as well..._

**Nori squatted in the pantry, legs wide, towel at the ready. There was a naked dwarfling on the loose.**

_How the **hell** did Dori end up drenched and Ori remained dry, the older being outside of the tub, and the younger being **inside**?!_

**Sudden darkness assaulted Nori’s senses, and with a sharp click, he was locked in the pantry. Nori spat the hair out of his face - _loose, all loose, and sudsy, how the hell?! -_ and he gnashed his teeth at the maniacal laughter from the other side.**

_Dori dropped Ori off to the Library. Balin volunteered to read to the tyke for some hours, to give the eldest a break. he had once been privied to attend to Ori’s Awakening. It was... he lost something dear..._

**Nori rushed to the marketplace and dropped Ori off to Bombur - dear Bombur, why are all the handsome, stout dwarves already taken?! - so that Ori would find a playmate among other sproutlings.**

_Dori just about made his way out of the building to the tea shop when he was bowled over by a taller form. Dwalin stuttered an apology, red in the face. The face burned redder not ten minutes later, but Dori couldn’t be sure. While he could feel the younger dwarf’s burn hotter, shaking and quivering, from under his bollocks, it was difficult to tell from where he was sat._

**Nori twitched with pent-up energy and unresolved stress. So he went to the guardhouse and, happening upon someone naked and sweaty and quite unaware, he swooped and bent him over. When Nori turned the lad around and saw Dwalin’s face on... well, Dwalin’ body, he hoisted the twitching body over his shoulder and went somewhere more private.**

_Dwalin would never know it, but his was the most honest and endearing face Dori ever sat one._

**Dwalin would never know it, but there was a small tattoo on the back of his head that Nori put there, because he was bored.**

_Ori’s eyes grew impossibly big when Dori told him to put back all the books he wanted to take home. Dori remained firm; thankfully the little one was too disappointed to note that Dori could carry them all home easily. Blessfully, he didn’t realise he could carry them all by himself by now. Soon they would have to revise rule #8: **If you can’t carry it, you can’t have it.** This wasn’t as easy as with Nori._

**On the way home, Nori had to pry Ori off the warhammer or six he found in the marketplace. They really had to change rule #8. Nori had never been so grateful to be average in strength in his life.**

_The books weren’t the biggest obstacle. They were followed home by geese._

**The hammer wasn’t bad. Nor was the mace. Nor the anvil.**

_Dori had to threaten to eat the goose and the chicks for Ori to let them go._

**Ori’s head was stuck in a close helm.**

_Dori felt so dirty._

**People stared curiously at an odd pair, the One constipated by the looks of it, the Second tethered in a leash and shining at the head.**

_Dori enjoyed the startled jerk Nori made when he stomped into the house and slammed the door nearly off its hinges. He wasn’t bleeding, he wasn’t missing limbs, he wasn’t dead. Nori was, in fact, breaking bread and eating a hot soup._

**Nori kicked the door open, hands full of squirmy-sproutling-ankles, and tugged the resisting boy into the house with a shout. Dori was tenderly tending to his flail, savagely ripped from Enlightenment with Nori’s pained roar.**

To be fair, neither was expecting the other to return in such a state of disarray.

_**Next time Bofur’s sick, he’s your problem!** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments loved, critic appreciated. hope you like! and that it's not too complicated...
> 
> on tumblr [here](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/47051635961/the-brothers-ri-chapter-26-of-geese-and-close-helms)


	27. Of Wooden Beads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dori has weird hobbies that _never go away._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wral is a good guy. Dori needs a good father figure, his own was a monster.  
> (for those who are new, read [chapter 9](../1236883). warning: torture, rape, molestation, pretty hard core stuff. also: heartbreak.)

on [tumblr](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/47200048109/the-brothers-ri-chapter-27-of-wooden-beads) 

Nori’s never done anything by half. Once he starts something, he pulled through, and there were only three options; become spectacular, have a reasonable grasp, or fail spectacularly.

It ran in the family.

Wral had a severe case of “let’s do _everything!”_ that ran in his family, which Dori picked up quite quickly, littering their home in carved woods of all shapes and sizes as soon as the fancy took his senses.

On one hand, Nori developed a fear of walking barefoot at home. On the other - no, that’s it, he’s terrorised.

It wasn't all that different when Dori discovered cooking - they were still suffering the dire consequences. Nori himself contributed with certain experiments himself; he now knew how to make fourteen different types dragons out of paper, mastered the language of knots and made up a few, and was an expert weapons forger. He didn't have weird moments his father transmitted his stepson through osmosis, no he didn't. (The pickle-thing didn't count.)

But this was no time for digressions. This was a time for distress, for speculation, for panic, _for paranoia._

Nori opened the front door a fraction when he heard a suspicious clicky-click sound. It was steady, with an undertone of soft shuffles and huffs and some more clickity-click, but it was otherwise silent.

Dread filled him and shrunk him from the inside, time slowed to an eternal pace as he opened the door, bracing himself for unbearable pain.

Ori was drowning, only hands and the top of his small ginger head visible, Dori was working, eyes focused and determined, and, much to Nori’s joy, stepping on wool wasn’t nearly as painful as wooden beads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love that dori knits all of ori's woolens. and this didn't let me go. it _wouldn't!!_


	28. Soup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [here be the tumblr](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/47265836615/the-brothers-ri-chapter-28-soup)

Ori came home to a home of laughter and joy.

Nori had brought home a sweetheart.

Dori was fussing in the kitchen, Nori setting the table, the strange dwarf watching them with amusement. Ori snuck his bloody hammer into the secret compartment, just in time when the guest looked his way and beckoned him over.

Dinner was a gleeful occasion. Lündr met Nori on a heist, and had fallen in Love Eternal. That was the brothel Lündr fell through the roof of when he slipped off the rails. Nori was entertaining the Madam - old friends, old _business, don’t talk about it_ \- when they made eye contact. It was all very romantic.

Nori and Dori left the table, giving Lündr some time with the youngest. They were having a strong case of “flying dragons versus swimming dragons” when Ori changed the subject.

“Listen - there’s a Kingdom across the Lower Sea where Nori made enemies, strong ones. It’s a three month journey if you take the safer hidden roads, go to the ships with the blue-red sails, they will take you free of charge and give you protection of you tell them the Slicer is after you.”

Lündr felt his heart swell with the cuteness. He ruffled Ori’s hair.

“Aww... are you protecting your brother’s heart? I’m not using him for sex. Let me guess, Dori will kill me if I break Nori’s heart? Or is it _you?”_

Ori shook his head slowly, his voice lowering to a deep timbre, eyes deepening with the fear of Death.

“No. If you break his heart,  _Nori_ will strap you down and slice your kneecaps out, slice your testicles out of your sack and make a soup.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am really, really sorry. that two day escape to ffn broke me.


	29. Singularity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nori shovel talks without words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i started, it was funny.

He was swaying. That was all he knew. It was dark, his senses dulled in a manner suggesting narcotics, the pressure on his head and the pull on his ankles would suggest him hanging downside up, there was a breeze, and his braids moves from one side to the other. He wasn’t being flung sideways, he wasn’t knocked from

one end to the other, so sway was all that it could be at the moment.

He moaned, a sound he realised was muffled. He was either gagged, or still half deaf.

A thundering clap answered that conundrum for him, echoing across the land, bouncing off cliffs and rocks and open sea.

Oh. This was less than ideal.

And quite quickly, less than ideal became disastrously apocalyptic, a fate reservd for him and promised by deep, tempestuous fury reflecting the glowing full moon in murderous eyes.

“Please! Let me down! Set me free! I haven’t done anything!”

Disdain filled those eyes, upper lip snarling to reveal a hunter’s grimace.

“I promise! Whatever I’ve done, I know I might have done wrong, but upon my soul, I wasn’t aware that it was forbidden!”

The winds howled obediently, whistling and spitting loudly and the snarl grew to a predatory grin.

“Yavana have mercy on me, for thou hath cursed me! My heart loves too many, for by my very Nature I am generous! I cannot ignore the wants and needs of others, their hearts call out for me and I cannot help but reply in kind!Yavana have mercy on me, for my kindness is also cruel! The love I hole for many is jealously coveted, and whilst I daren’t break their hearts, they do so by their own hands!”

Betrayal echoed in the murderous eyes and his assassin’s knives swung idly. Rope by rope, the swaying traitor was steadily sliced closer to the pointed rocks at the base of the cliffs. The oceans were furious, smashing and retreating her waves against tenacious but inevitably fallible rock, roaring and moaning under the traitor’s head with the vicious jealousy of a wounded lover, a sentiment emanating from the avenging dwarf with the knives.

“Mercy! Have mercy upon my life, my body, though this coward deserves no kindness! Spare me and I will no longer burden you with my being! I shall leave evermore from your presence, begone and -”

He screamed in terror when the ropes loosed and he fell head-first towards hateful shards of ice-cold rock and landed firmly on soft grass. Shivering, the Man wormed his way onto his knees and dared to look at the short mountain-creature before him, normally pouffed hair drenched and heavy under the rain, nearly touching the ground, as the dwarf stared unblinkingly at him, promising suffering beyond compare.

The depths of the gaze deepened impossibly into a singularity, heavy and demanding, unrelenting and pitiless. The Man could feel his strength being fed upon, gnawed and chewed and nibbled. And when he had nothing more to give, the emptiness within him still manage to get hollower and hollower under the psychotic scrutiny of his intended’s brother.

“Leave.” Nori’s whisper echoed deeply under the howl of the wind and the roar of the thunder and the shrieks of the ocean. “Stay away from Dori, and never return.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i still think it's funny.  
> eeet... le voilà sur [tumblr](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/47475045443/the-brothers-ri-chapter-29-singularity). :)


	30. Premeditated Dents in the Fundament

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ori's honour needs protecting.  
> [on tumblr](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/47636922290/the-brothers-ri-chapter-30-premeditated-dents-in-the)

Galwae was stood in front of his mirror, preening. He’d been there for hours already. Ought he spike his hair, or let it down in natural waves? Tight braids, or fashionably debauched beard? Nice prim button up to impress the in-laws, or a generous cleavage to show impressive body hair?

 This was mightily important. He wanted to make a good impression. Impressions were vastly important. Even if his dalliance was far too bookish for his taste, a virgin was a virgin, adn frankly, he might have a chance with that dashing older brother of his. One of them. Either, really. Or both, he wouldn’t mind.

A loud crash. Splinters bouncing off solid surfaces, rock splitting, screams and scuffles and shrieks and pans hitting each other. The noise was rapid, desperate, quickly climbing up the stairs and heading his direction.

There were other flats. It didn’t _have_ to be his. Until it was.

Hair fell loosely and caressed the dusty floor, nose broken and bleeding, split lip and torn tunic. Galwae stood, frozen and afraid.

“Run!” Nori slipped and fell to the dresser, clutching at the knobs. “He found out! RUN!”

Galwae needn’t be told twice. However, had he thought twice before diving out of his window and tunneling his way out of the city in the safety of the sewers and looked back, he would have seen Nori without a trace of angry ginger dwarf at his tail, nonchalantly picking through his belongings and pocketing random stuff.

However random his choice of reappropriation may have seemed, it really wasn’t.

Nori snuck home and silently returned all objects back to their place; Ori’s original gravures, back in his cupboards, Ori’s carved figures, back on his window sill, Ori’s decorative quill with a blue stone, on its glass case at the desk - the priceless Lone Gem, gift from a lord far east who bestowed it on Ori.

Downstairs, Ori was sniffling into his tea, wrapped in a duvet, held together by Dori. He’d been like this all week, only leaving the comforts of the duvet for imperative needs or groceries. It had taken Dori hiding the duvet on the roof for Ori to leave the house not looking like a larva. Nori slipped in, the escaping heat quickly compensated by another warm body.

Ori sniffed and leaned further back into his brothers.

“He said I was special...” Ori mufflingly mumbled into his scarf.

“You _are_ , dear.”

“I’m really sorry.”

Dori pulled him onto his chest. “Dear... if you needed _that sort_ to make you feel special at all, then I’m the one who should be sorry...”

“Both of us.” Nori pecked Ori gently on the lips. “It’s a terrible thing he’s done, serenading you with such motives. And you are right to feel shit. So go ahead and wallow to your heart’s content, and when you’re done, we’ll be right here, alright?”

The fire roared and lulled them into an exhausted sleep.

_Earlier..._

_”We’ll have to do this now.”_

_“Are you sure about this?”_

_“ **Yes**. If I go there, there will be a **dent in the ground** where the fundament of a building used to be. This needs **finesse.** ”_

_“Fine. But quick, before he gets home.”_

_“Alright. Are you ready?”_

_Nori poured himself another mug of strong ale and swallowed._

_“Ready. On three.”_

_Nori clenched his eyes and jaw, steeling himself for the oncoming fist._

_“One.”_

_Dori shook and tightened his hand, aiming for maximum visible damage, minimal internal and permanent injuries._

_“Two.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been listening to minchin boob song all day. i was going to titles this 'boobs'. i sat here for a good half hour, and pondered for a few more half hours, wondering what other words besides boob would come up in my head.  
> so i just made more euphemism that may or may not have anything to do with the actual chapter.  
> yeah, i don't know how i come up with titles either...


	31. Out Of Duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dori kneeled in the mud, jaw slack and muscles loose and tenderised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [auf zum tumblr?](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/48864794923/the-brothers-ri-chapter-31-out-of-duty-warnings-in) 

Dori kneeled in the mud, jaw slack and muscles loose and tenderised. He was numb, he couldn’t move, but at the same time he couldn’t stop moving. His hands clenched, grasping for something solid, something heavy.

Dori ducked, blocked the incoming fist, grabbed and twisted it, kicked the offended to the other side.

A hard-booted foot collided to the back of his knee. He fell, unable to do anything but grunt, tunic drenched in mud and blood, another foot kicking him in the face.

Fingers dug into bloody earth, his lungs heaved and whistled, his wrist and knees shook and twitched violently, he couldn’t stop it.

From the corner of his eye, a helmeted Man swung his axe. Dori waited until the iron was suspended above his head, and threw dirt into his eyes, before punching into his chest and slamming him into the ground.

The figure beneath his fingers shook, lungs collapsing, and Dori stole a glance to Gudrn. She lit her pipe, tapped it once. Twice. Once more.

Dori shut his eyes tightly, resigned. He would not be able to return home early. The injuries would take days to heal.

Nori would be furious. Ori would be upset.

Sharp pain spread across his back, he shouted out. Spun around. Grabbed the weapon, broke it in half, manoeuvred to break this one’s leg at the thigh, to twist the other’s hammer out his grasp and stabbed him in the kidney.

In the puddles decorating the dirt ground, blood vibrated and shook with the pounding and outraged shouts of the adrenaline-ridden crowd, regular stomping, screaming, shaking of the cage’s bars penetrating into his core, his heart beat in time with their demands.

He dropped the broken stick, wiped his forehead, rolled his shoulders. He was numb, and his injuries throbbed; though the pain no longer registered in his mind, his nerves and bones protested as loudly as they could, silenced by sheer will.

New round. No weapons. Bare fisted. Not that it mattered, of one managed to sneak in some extra weight for more damage. Dori could handle it.

He always could. He always will.

He’ll have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, just a short one.  
> i am really sorry. wisdom tooth removal 2.0 tomorrow, the last time there was a complication so i'm having three at once, instead of two.  
> also, sorry for not a very good one...  
> but if you want to cheer me up check out [Merry Gathering](http://archiveofourown.org/works/728297/chapters/1352299)? :D


	32. No Rest for...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ori came home to a dozen armoured figures in the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah. a little spur of the moment treat, took ten minutes to write. sur ao3 :)
> 
>  
> 
> [vous pouvez trouver ce chapitre sur tumblr aussi ;)](http://pandeimos.tumblr.com/post/48866214721/the-brothers-ri-chapter-32-no-rest-for)

Ori came home to a dozen armoured figures in the kitchen.

Rather, he came home to a dozen bruised and bloodied and bandaged and plastered mercenaries cleaning off the ale in their mugs and the food - the food he painstakingly prepared to last a week to prevent Dori from cooking again, Mahal damn it - and licking their plates. 

He steeled himself and moved forward - squeezed and squashed and swam his way to the host of the inebriated party, and kicked him in the shin. Lightly. Not hard enough to break, in any case. 

“I thought we agreed you’d stop bringing work home with you!” 

“I didn’t bring work home,  _work_   **followed**   _me_  home.” 

Ori slapped a heavily mitted hand to his forehead.

“Come on, let’s clean up and release these brutes back into the wild from whence they came before  _he_  comes back home. I bagsie you to deal with his huffing fit when he sees what they did to the carpet, by the way...”


End file.
